on love and loss...

Today has been a tough day for my household.

Especially for our little Murphy.

My sweet little dog was out walking on the beach with me yesterday evening when he came across a little bit of discarded fishing bait. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as his walks usually involve lots of sniffing and nibbling of anything that looks even remotely flavoursome. So I wasn't too concerned until I realised that he was stopping to paw at his face because there was something hanging out of it.

Thinking that he had picked up a stick or piece of grass in his beard, I called him over to remove it. On closer inspection, I realised that it was a piece of fishing line with a sinker attached. After looking in his mouth, it dawned on me that the tasty morsel he had just munched on was more than likely still attached to a fish hook, which was now somewhere down his throat.

After a rushed trip to the vet, x-rays revealed that the hook was in fact stuck all the way down at the base of his oesophagus - one of the most unlikely and difficult places from which to retrieve it.

Our two options involved the use of an endoscope to remove the hook, or surgery.

We chose the least invasive option, which was the endoscope. This, however, proved unsuccessful as the large hook was becoming more firmly stuck with their attempts to remove it.

The last option was to try and get to it through the stomach.

Thankfully, our prayers were answered and the operation today was a success. Though he is not yet out of the woods, he is in good hands and we are believing he will make a full recovery. 

I fully understand that Murph is an animal; however, he is very much a part of our life. In 2 short years, he has firmly entrenched himself in our hearts and as a part of our family.

I do realise that he won't live forever but I simply wasn't prepared to say goodbye to him so soon.

But one thing I have been reminded of today is that loving means that you have to face losing. 

Thankfully, for us, not today. 

But someday, sure.

Loving brings the greatest moments of life - incredible joy and feelings of happiness and belonging.

But it also brings a vulnerability to loss and grief - something we inevitably have to face, often when we are least prepared for it.

Of course, the loss of a pet is not even on the same scale as the loss of a person... but still, it hurts.

Yet though loving means that I will have to face my share of pain and grief, I choose to love.

To love and to be loved is an immeasurable blessing.

And it is so much better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

I can't wait to have my little buddy back home, following me from room to room, just waiting for me to love him with games, cuddles and walks.....

Though maybe not walks on the beach for a while.  

also published on my blog

A New Beginning!

I haven't written anything on my blog or posted anything here for a while. Following is a post taken from my blog written on Wednesday, 18 August 2010. Katherine thank you for your lovely comments. As you have requested, I post this here with love, on this very special day, 10.10.10, which is the start of New Beginnings for the whole planet.


I have been on a private journey, practising what I have been preaching more or less and finding bits of myself I left behind, or was too scared to look at.

I have read some more, practised some more, forgiven some more and let go some more. Am I whole?

I was always whole, this is the most important lesson I have learnt; that the true essence of who we are; is and always was and will be whole and perfect.

I have re-membered that to become whole we need to separate in order to come back together.

We live in a world of separateness, or the illusion that we are separate, but in actual fact we are all ONE; as the body is made of many parts, they are not of much use by them selves, even though they are important in their own right, they are made to work together as ONE.

I have reflected more on the Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle, and read some other inspirational books on the law of attraction, and the conclusion I have come to, is that all wisdom is true.

Truth IS, it is always the same. There are many routes to it but Truth does not move, it waits patiently for you to accept this fact.

I can read something and see the truth in parts of it, I can dismiss other parts, but what is important the truth is there to be seen, whether we can see it or not.

When I have seen it, I know it to be real (true) for my heart sings. I feel some resonance, as if my heart is tuned into the same frequency.

There have been times when I have read something that does not resonate with me. Does this mean it is not true, or is it that I cannot see the truth. Truth is there, you have reached insight when you are able to see through the words. For behind it all is truth, waiting patiently to be reached.

I have also been re-learning, about who I really am. I have found the truth, again through words, as this is my medium of enlightenment. To others it may be something else.

I have come to see that I am not really just my body, my name, my culture, my religion, my sex, my marital status etc. I am part of the Divine. I am more Divine than all the rest of these parts.

I have also come to see that when I am in alignment with this bigger part of who I am, my life works. There still are similar situations, problems and issues, but the difference is that I am not been washed up by the waves. I can ride the waves and still be at peace.

How???

- By waking up each day from the starting point of wholeness and not lack.
- By looking at all the possible things that can go right today, than hold on to all that went wrong yesterday, and think more of the same today.
- By honoring my feelings, feeling the power they evoke inside me, trusting that I will not be engulfed by them, and breathing, whilst they gently subside.
- By understanding that at the end of an unhappy moment/event there is an opportunity for a happy outcome.

The above can be explained as follows:

If everything in this life is made up of opposites then the opposite of sadness is happiness. There is a variation of both these feelings/situations as there is variation in the hues of colour.

So on a scale of happiness/sadness it could look as below:

(Sadness)Pain->anger->frustration->surrender->forgivenes->PEACE(happiness)

As you walk on the the path towards happiness, you can experience sadness and along the path there is pain, anger, frustration and all the rest that can make us unhappy. The important thing to remember is that at the other end if you continue there is peace, which is happiness.

Surrender is not giving in to the situation or circumstance, it is an acceptance, a letting go of, and this gives you the opportunity to forgive, which is to fully release the past, leaving just peace.

Along this journey of life, we will be taking steps forward and then seemingly fall backward into pain. We can choose to stay at any point, we can bring in surrender at any point, we can forgive at any point. We don't have to ignore the hurt and frustration, just accept it, this helps for the biggest transformation.

Life offers many opportunities to find peace in all situations. It may seem a pointless venture since there is this situation of duality/opposites going on. But each time you forgive, you have put yourself on a higher level of understanding and consciousness.

You now have more awareness and more power of your actions. From this new awareness, you can reach peace quicker, as you are embodying more peace. You are being more of who you really are. You are aligned to the Divine, and the Divine is LOVE!!!

With an awareness that you are essentially made up of love, the more connected you feel to this part of you, the more peace you will see all around you.

So, here are my lessons, for now. I hope through these words you are able to see the truth. I hope you can see your own light shining through!

'A man should look for what is and not what he thinks should be'
Albert Einstein

It Was all I Ever Wanted

It was all I ever wanted.
Not that I minded the age,
it was an old key meant for it's worn place.
But something was different.
After the death and robbery, I understood.
It couldn't be any other way. Things change. Life moves on.
I've heard this.

Passing through the keyhole,
a life lived and shared was worth it after all.

So soon, it became clear to you that the shine was gone.
But did you know you were so beautiful?
Did you know that every wrinkle
opened my heart even further to your inspiration?

What was worthy became more so.
It didn't matter that your surface had a rough feel.
It didn't matter.

Your opening was all I ever wanted.
When I could turn the key and find you,
in your scuffed and worn beauty,
I was immersed in a new light.
An innocence revealed us,
I opened in the sun of you, Mom.
It was all I ever wanted.

Cynthia Pittmann

Also, published in Oasis Writing Link
(Photo credit: Willow. A writing assignment from the worthy Ms Willow of Magpie Tales)

I Hate Housework!

It's tedious, monotonous and infinite! I resent the fact that Hagar doesn't do as much as me and has somehow managed to morph a relationship founded on equality to one of segregated conjugal roles! How did this happen? At the same time, I know that I lead a privileged existance and inside my soul I should be pleased to serve my family and create the nest that they all need to function to the optimum. Yet, I can't help it - it really pisses me off that it's me that has to be the slave!

My gran, Betty, was the guiding light of my life. She was one of 14 children. She grew up in a country village near Peterborough. My great-grandfather was a drunk, and had drank, and gambled, his father's fotune away. Gran lived in a tumbled down cottage, she and her siblings would have to collect the family's water from a pump in the middle of the village square. At 14, she left home and moved to Coventry to live in lodgings with her sister Pearl. She worked as a secretary to an army officer.

At 16 she met my grandfather, Ginge, (a redhead - the clue is in the nickname), he had been dragged up working on the docks in York. His father was murdered with a dockers claw for his wage packet. He slept rough around York docks until he was 15. When the war came he was called up and enlisted to the RAF as a rear gunner. According to my very uncharitable father, he was a big boozer and spent most of the war in the brig for drinking offences, hence the reason he managed to survive a role, where death was almost guaranteed.

After the war, Ginge and Betty married, and moved to York, where they were issued a council house at 49 Tenent Road. This is where they lived until they both died. They had four children. My mother was one of them. She was the eldest and born in 1947. Life at 49, as it was always known through my raising, was pretty turbulent. Gran and grandad had come from nothing and they had nothing. The house was furnished with filth, orange boxes and love. Grandad was now working at Rowntrees Macintosh as a painter and decorator; a job he held until he retired at the age of 60. Ginge was a drinker - he loved his booze. He could open his throat and pour the amber nectar down his neck in voluminous quantities. His greatest achievement was that he could drink a pint in under 5 seconds.

He could be found in The White Rose most nights, drinking and playing dominos. My mum quite often would have to pull him, and his bike, out of the hedge in the morning and make sure he got to work on time. Betty kept the home fires burning, stoically and cheerfully - held together by tots of brandy and many fags. He was a womaniser as well. When Ginge's fancy women would turn up at the back door, gran would shriek, "Gin-ner! There's a women here, says you are leaving me. Are you going?'

"No Bette," would be the sheepish response.

"Did you hear that?" Gran would spit at the doorstep daliance.

"Now sling yer hook."

Betty's darkest day was when my mother committed suicide at the age of 26. She could never speak of it. She put it in a secure vault and buried her grief deep inside her soul, never to be unlocked. In fact it took until I was 18 years old before she could put a photo of my mum, amongst the collection of family memoribilia, framed and set amidst the vast array of porcelain birds.

Through this rollercoaster of a life, my gran served her family and her grandkids and others as well. She cleaned, washed and ironed - singing terribly, crooning. She fed every stray dog and child in Tenent Road. Many kids sought refuge from life at Betty's house. You would never know who would be living there and for how long. She couldn't bear to see a child in pain.

She worked as a barmaid in The Mania Bar at York Station Hotel. She was straight out of Andy Cap - lacquered blonde hair, bright pink, powder and paint, back skirt, white shirt, with an ample cleavage and killer patent leather heels. How she worked shifts in these shoes, I have no idea. On day shifts, she would sneak me in and hide me from the management. Whenever, the bosses came down I would scuttle behind the crisp boxes, under the bar and wait for them to leave. My reward for silence and stillness was 10p for the fruit machine, that would often multiply magically into a £1.

All she did was work, smoke, sing, dance and celebrate life. She waited on all of us. She said she was born to serve. 'You come to my house to relax', she would say to me. She was proud to serve her family. Her house was a real refuge. My refuge. I called it the 'bosum'. The bosum of Betty.

Betty Smith

Like a shining star,
A blooming flower,
Early morning and a face that is sour.

She can be bright and gay,
Like a sunny day.
She has a twinkle in her eye
And a sparkle in her smile.

She is loaded with love,
She is armed with style.

With a life full of pain,
It is from her that I gain,
That at the end of the day,
When it is all said and done
And push comes to shove
There is no one like Betty
She defines the word love.

I think of my gran and the spirit she inspired me within me. I give myself a little pep talk. I am blessed to have such a wonderful gift with my life, two gorgeous children, the handsome Hagar, a beautiful nest to raise my kids and yet no matter how much I try I still can't help hating housework!!! It's so boring and pointless!!! When Hagar comes home and I have cooked a fabulous home-cooked meal, with fresh ingredients, from scratch, and then I end up doing the washing up, and putting the kids to bed as well. The nagging 'I am not born to serve' battle unleashes itself. I blame Thatcher! She was a false icon - she had staff and a millionaire husband! I need me some of those. It's no good, I can't help it - I hate housework. Right, that said I have to go and make the beds. The battle continues on.......

"Someday I’m going to do and say everything I want to do and say, and if people don’t like it I don’t care." - Scarlett O'Hara


First written by me at my new blog:

http://amodernmilitarymother.wordpress.com/

Love Is Elusive

What does it mean " To be loved " or " To love "

After all there are many different types of love, " Loving the taste of you all time favorite food ","The love that a mother has for her new born child "," The love of the trill "," That first true love ", " The love of a couple that have been married for 50 years through the good times and the bad times "," The love of the smell of the fresh rain on a summer day ", or " The love of hearing the songs of the birds overhead as the sun rises ", just to name a few.

Is love a feeling ? an emotion ? or is love a thought that we convince ourselves to believe in ?

Can you learn to love something or is true love a gift from above that you have no control over, after all they say that " Love is blind " & Love can be found at first sight.

Can love fade over time ? Or is it more the case that it was never true love that you had and only true love endures.

Can a person truely die from a broken heart ?

And can two people in love combine the essence of who they are to be greater than the some of each individually ?

No matter what love is to the individual, one thing is sure, love would appear to be elusive to the vast majority of the human race or at least the understanding and acceptance of true love would appear to be elusive.

Love Is Elusive

Love is elusive
Love is a dream
Love is always there but rarely seen
Our eyes are closed to the simplest of things
Of what love is and what it means.
.
Love is seeing the sun set red
The morning songs of the birds overhead
A gentle cool breeze on a hot humid day
Of watching the waves roll in all day.
.
Love is touching your new born child
With tears of pride and joy in your eyes.
Love is teaching them to grow strong and free,
And having the courage to teach them to dream.
.
Love is having you lay next to me,
The smell of your hair the touch of your skin.
The sparkle in your eyes so deep,
And holding you tightly as we sleep.
.
When I look deep into your eyes,
It's then that I realise much to my suprise.
That love to me can never be complete,
Without you in my life.
.
Love is elusive,
Love is a dream.
Love is always there but rarely seen.
Our eyes are closed to the simplest of things,
Of what love is and what it means.
.
Andrew Swansson
Copyright 2007

The above Blog is also on " The Soap Box Truth " by Andrew Swansson

Special Relationships!

Special relationships, what are they? We are talking about intimate, 'love' relationships, borne out of 'love'.

Maybe we should begin with the question of what is love?

'Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres.'

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Therefore whatever is not the above, means it is not love???

So for example, taking one of the lines above, love- 'it is not easily angered.'
Does this mean when we are angry with our intimate partner, do we not love them any more?

It seems so!

But let's not use only the Bible's word for it.

Eckhart Tolle, an author and spiritual teacher, says that,

'If in your relationships you experience both 'love' and the opposite of love - attack, emotional violence and so on - then it is likely that you are confusing ego attachment and addictive clinging with love.......true love has no opposite.'

He continues,

'Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body...'

So what are special relationships? Or to put it another way, What is the purpose of a special relationship??

If they invariably create so much emotion, both positive and negative, where the negative is not love, and by the looks of it neither is the positive since it is the opposite of negative, and as said above, 'true love has no opposite'.

Is there a purpose, other than procreation?? Is there something more spiritual or is this it? - You fall in love, have a few good times, have a lot of bad times, have kids, make up, get on, fight again, stay together, or not, fall in love with someone else and start the whole process again, with a few variations.

Tolle believes that humans have increasingly become identified with their mind and therefore most relationships are not rooted in the present. This is why it turns into pain and conflict.

Avoidance of relationships does not dissolve this pain, since the problem is that the identification is with the mind and not the present moment - living in the past or future.

Relationships work on our need to become whole. To make a whole you need both masculine and feminine. That is the pull, the attraction, the search for wholeness, on a physical level, since at the core, we are whole.

So, other than the need for wholeness, what is the purpose of a relationship?

Tolle believes a relationship's purpose is not to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to look for happiness through a relationship you will be disillusioned over and over again.

Tolle says that a relationship's purpose is to make you conscious. Which in turn will bring you happiness, for being conscious is your natural state of being, just as love is your natural state of being. Accepting this will help you align with a higher consciousness.

How do you stay conscious? What is conscious?

Staying present, Being, not going to the past which is riddled with guilt, bitterness and hate, or darting to the future which is infested with worry, fear and anxiety.

Staying present makes you an observer. Being an observer, you are alert. Being alert keeps you present, dissolving any pain real or perceived freeing you to accept the NOW!

What if... love?

By Kristn Brumm (kbxmas)

There is so much in the world that is beyond our control. There are people who choose to fill their hearts with hate and their lives with violence. We can't change that. All we can ever do is choose how we will respond to the world.

You may think, but I am only one person, I feel so powerless. But I disagree. One person has tremendous power. Why? Because we humans are sympathetic creatures. We resonate with the energy around us. If you respond to me with anger, chances are good I will become angry. But what if you have the courage to respond to me with love? You have just changed the game.

In February I wrote a post on my blog called God Hates Donuts? It was about a group of counter-protesters who responded to hate

with humor

Photo from EDW Lynch story, LaughingSquid

Most page views ever on any post I've written.

In that post I quoted Martin Luther King:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction

What does drive out darkness? Love. Tolerance. Compassion.

So imagine with me for a moment....

What if whenever we encountered this

KKK rally

we responded with this

KKK counter protest, Athens, GA, photo by Gregory Skibinski

What if when something bad happened to people who didn't look like us

Earthquake, Haiti, Jan 2010

instead of listening to others assign blame

Pat Robertson

we just listened to our hearts?

helicopter preparing for water drop

What if we stopped trying to resolve our conflicts like this

near Israel/Palestine border

and instead tried more of this

Because if we did, maybe, just maybe, we could prevent anything like this from ever happening again

I know we can never eradicate violence and hatred from the world.  There will always be those who are deeply rooted in fear and who will choose hate over love every time.  But I'd like to believe they are a small minority, an annoying dripping faucet in the night.  The rest of us are a sea of compassion, hopeful, yielding, open-hearted, waiting to be swayed by your decision to chose love.

Because while there will always be discrimination in the world, there will always be bias and judgment, every now and then a majority will rise up in a single voice and surprise us

Election night 2008, U.S.

Kristin writes at Wanderlust

Info Overload!!!!

'Love never fails. But where there are prophesies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge it will pass away.'
1 Corinthians 13:8

Sometimes life can become very confusing!

Knowledge does not set you free, it gives you a headache!

There's an advert for an Internet search engine which shows someone asking for directions. The person starts of normally giving the information, then carries on giving random information in a chaotic way - the mind is in overload!

It is like when you Google something and you are presented with a list of random answers, interesting but not what you where looking for, and very easily distracting from what you where doing.

I love to learn!

My mind craves knowledge, I love History, Math, esoteric knowledge, Religion, culture. You name it I am interested in it. This is not bad in itself but sometimes this can lead you astray from the one simple truth - LOVE!

'Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud.' 1 Corinthians 13:4

All the knowledge in the world (and not in the world) is meaningless without Love.

So what do we do with an inquisitive mind?

We learn to see the love in all situations; all learnings; all teachings.

If God is Love, then all that God made is Love!

The equation of Love is in the architecture of Life; each sequence of events can be seen as a Mathematical equation, the answer being - LOVE!

So, when we feel an info overload and we become a little confused;

Stop!
Breath!
Connect back to LOVE!
This is what matters the most.

'And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.' 1 Corinthians 13:13

The Doorway Had A Smile

Greetings from the land of tomorrow otherwise known as China...

As I think of those of you who will be reading this across the different timezones around the world, I am smiling and have gone through some of the images I have taken since the last time I posted. The upload time takes a while from my end, so in the end, I hope you receive the message I have decided to write with warm intentions.

China has had a very surprising impact on my life. One that goes beyond being a tourist in this nation. I live here. I work here. I have fallen in love with the people here. I have found a transformation that has been a positive one for me. One that put me in touch with what it means to have purpose in life. A purpose that started with a smile.

You should be amazed with these shots, because the Chinese shun the camera, specifically when a foreigner has one. All of these wonderful people opened their hearts to me as I set out on a new mission to touch one person a day. The first day, was just to go out and try to provoke a smile. I walked around feeling like my heart was going to explode with my efforts to smile at people. It was contagious. It felt like I was walking around with bottled joy.

The smile then led to contact. Helping people with a load, a bike hatch that wouldn't properly close, a reassuring touch or perhaps something a little more practical, as I would see a need. This opened invitations that would not have been there for me. The observation of a private lesson with a little girl, all because the music drew me. I was astonished to be invited in and allowed to hear the master and the student work together.A crepe maker thought I was funny, and allowed me to photograph her as well. Her outdoor stand was flush with her hard work and because I stood there and was willing to eat there more customers came who were of the paying sort.

The little things along the day that illustrated total joy. The total joy of just touching someone. We are indeed creatures of habit, so on my next journey I decided to be brave and go by myself into the heart of Nanjing. I just got on a bus and let it take me to a place where I just felt like getting off, and I walked from there. It was on this day I was shown the other side, the side that tourists don't see. The ones you find when you go through the side streets where the people of the city live.

I saw a man with mangled legs and a begging bowl. He was in obvious pain, but did his best to smile for me. I reached down to his level and grabbed his hand and pressed his palm not with coins, but with something more substantial. I thought he was going to cry and soothed him by stroking his arm and looked into his eyes. To really see the person as a person and not walk by in a vain rush.

I had a day where I went out and simply found people in need and gave. I set a budget and just looked to touch these people. A foreigner with blue eyes and a smile. When I came home I wept. Not because I couldn't help all of them, no, but because I realized something far more profound. How our fear keeps us from giving. I had written an earnest post on my blog about touching one life a day. So many missed the intention and only thought of their tight wallets. It wasn't about giving money. It was simply about giving without expectation. If we touched one life a day, within a year, you would have touched 365/6 people. A simple observation that made me look at it in an achievable way. I thought, don't even think about pay it forward. This is the kind of giving that is anything in a natural authentic way based on love extended to a total stranger to be free. That is real freedom. A smile is free. A hug. An acknowledgement of a homeless person, but oh, we are so so afraid of being asked to help. We are afraid of need and even more afraid of being needed. Don't misinterpret my message as trying to guilt you into doing anything. The number one mistake we all make is comparing our journeys to each other. We all have our own road. We have our own life lessons. There is no doing or not doing to even worry about.

So what place does this kind of post have here? Perhaps because this is a blog about giving. This is a blog about giving support to each other as we share our adventures. This is our little community and in a way I am just sharing with you my journey along the way and trying to take you with me.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am really not trying to tell you something you all don't really know for yourselves. What I am finally getting as well, is that in order to allow something or someone into your life, you have to make room for it to appear. For me, this journey began by clearing out my old life so I could have this life. Everything material gone. I am not doing any of this for religious or spiritual reasons. I don't believe in heaven or hell. There is nothing in it for me, except to grow. We all die. We take nothing with us. However, this is what we leave behind, a memory of love. In the palace of my mind, China has filled me with immense treasures I would never have found had I been too afraid to walk out the front door.

Life is magic right where you are. Feel it.

============================================

Blogger of: The Lotus Sutra Chronicles documenting my journey along the way. I keep it simple so readers feel comfortable and at home, after all, it is a blog about my myopic view of the world at times. Greetings to all those who are new posters here and a fond hello to those faithful posters that have been here from the inception of this haven.

Love is the Only Way!

Without love, there is no hope.
Without love, there is no joy.
Without love, there is no solution.
Without love, there is no future.

You may give money.
You may give 'stuff'.
You may talk about love.

But without having love,
They are empty gestures.
Empty like the heart that gives -

Out of duty,
Out of guilt,
Out of confusion.

You will see problem,
After problem.
Suffer pain,
After pain.

Only love can heal.
Unconditional,
Unwanting,
Untainted,
Forgiving and true.

Love is the only way!

Look at your relationships in this way,
look at your situations today
And ask,
Where am I not loving?

Do not look at him or her to blame.
Only look at them to see the reflection,
of who you are

Are they unhappy?
Are they sad?
Are they mad?

What is it in YOU that is making you project unhappiness?
What is it in YOU that is making you project sadness?
What is it in YOU that is making you project madness?

Remember, Love is the only way!

Post on my blog

Love vs Control!

When we think of LOVE, we do not associate it with control.

The romantic notion of LOVE conjures an image of two free souls flying in the ethers, oblivious to anybody else. There is psychedelic '70s music playing in the background where everything seems in slow motion. There are sunflowers, warm sun and there are no worries in the world, you're in heaven. (This image is taken from the Movie Forty Year Old Virgin!)

CRASH!!!! Back down to earth!

Once the honey moon period ends which in biological terms means when there has been enough time given so that the human species can reproduce, that 'loving feeling' suddenly disappears and seems a very distant memory.

How long does this lurvvvvve feeling last?

Generalizing now, anything from two months to eighteen months. But this is very general. It depends on external influences.

When the lurvvvve feeling goes, so do the rose tinted glasses. You see your love interest with cynical, even critical eyes. Suddenly your love conquest becomes someone you need to keep down at any cost.

This is not done in an obvious way (unless the individual has extreme trust issues) but little questions (gestapo style) start spilling out of your mouth.

You suddenly feel insecure, and try to recapture that initial loving feeling but cannot, so you rationalize that it's because he/she doesn't love you anymore.

Whereas before, there was not much conversation, for you to notice that you have absolutely nothing in common other than a physical attraction, now it is glaringly obvious that you have nothing in common, not even the physical.

This is where the 'relationship' might end (which realistically is a good idea if you notice there is no hope of your minds ever meeting!)

But, if you are a romantic, insecure, hopeful,or all three then you stick to it and think I will get him/her to love me AGAIN!

It was not LOVE love to begin with it was LUST!!!!!

Any way the control takes over which is of course, born out of fear and insecurities.

Suddenly, all these unspoken demands pop up from nowhere and if they are not psychically known then there are upsets, fights,stomping of the foot and weeping into your best friend's arms (hopefully not a friend of the opposite sex which spells disaster), saying that, you don't know why they've changed!

No, they have not changed, you can now see them as they ARE!!! And they can see you as YOU are!!

Control,is not only about expecting something from another it is also about expectations of situations.

For example, a woman may expect that the natural course of a relationship is to move in have kids(if you haven't had one already) and get married. Or you pretend you don't want to get married but live in fuming hope, becoming resentful each day because you are not being asked to become the wife, where you made it clear when you met that you are a free spirit and don't want to get married....... blah blah blah!

This is where communication needs to be learnt. NoW is when you need to tell each other what you want from each other. The lust stage didn't need you to communicate much as instinct ran most of the show.

Now, is where you tell each other what you want and listen to what the other wants.

'But that's not romantic, if he/she loves me they should know!!!!'

Who says that they should know?

Where do we get these presumptuous ideals?



'Love is patient,
Love is kind.
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking.
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres.'

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7



If we do not LOVE unconditionally, we cannot accept JOY, we cannot give LOVE and JOY!

By releasing control of situations, when it is time to share that LOVE, it will be coming from a pure place of LOVE and not control!

"Spiritual Battles..."

Have you ever begun a new project – particularly one that you sincerely hope will be of service or joy to others – only to be met with some sort of obstacle or negative energy?

I've actually experienced this several times throughout my life, and you would think by now that I would be tuned in to when I've let this enemy slip into my daily efforts and thoughts. I pose this problem as a person, because I firmly believe that he – "Satan," "the evil one," "the devil," "Beelzebub," "negative energy," "the dark force," (whatever you want to call it) – really exists, and in order to recognize and defend ourselves from the enemy, we must put a name to it and face it.

Surprisingly, it didn't occur to me until just this morning that my husband and I were facing this kind of “spiritual warfare” yet again. The devil has attempted numerous times to infiltrate our lives as a loving couple and tight-knit family unit. “Attacks” might seem like an extreme word to those who aren't familiar with wht the sneaky and furtive tactics of the devil can really mean, but I firmly believe that this is how he operates. Unless you are constantly on guard, feeding and nurturing the garden of your own faith, before you know it he has slipped into your life - interjecting negativity, hopelessness, anger and hatred into situations where you normally would stand strong in clear and proper judgment.

That's how he works. Personally, I don't believe the devil brings down plagues, earth-quakes, financial ruin or death. Because God has given us the gift of free will, the ability to make our own choices and decisions in dealing with what life hands us, we unfortunately have the ability to choose unwisely. And that's just what the “devil” is pushing us to do. While he probably didn't cause us to loose our job, wreck the car, or put someone else in a bad mood, he does try to “push the buttons” that cause us to react to these moments with negativity and without love. Then, he tries to keep us there – mired in the darkness of self-pity, doubt, fear, and hatred – away from the light and grace of love, peace and Joy.

I've previously written that our family has experienced some major hardships this past year. In a nutshell, over the last week our situation has continued and become worse. I admit this to you only to support and explain my recent absence from the page; it truly has become a battle for me and my family, and I apologize. While I can't read the future and still don't have all the answers, I have made additional discoveries and insight into why I've reacted to recent situations the way I have, and why my family continues to suffer.

Over the last several years, I've found that I am getting really good at directing my anger towards dirt. I'm not sure if my boys have really figured this out yet, but when I've been hit with yet another piece of bad news or situation beyond my control, I start to clean. Rather than screaming, I try very hard to just “get mad at the dirt,” and go around the house taking care of items that may not have been tidied up in a while. Not only is this kind of simple work therapeutic, I've realized it's one thing that I have “control” over. Usually after several minutes of vacuuming or dusting, my heart will start speaking to God, and I'll use that time to converse with Him about how I'm feeling.

My house is very tidy at the moment.

However, I've (we've) been bombarded with so much lately, that the cleaning hasn't totally eased the unrest and nervousness within my soul, and I let myself slip into a bit of depression. I literally haven't been able to focus, let alone write about anything “positive.”

It's become obvious to me that I've let Satan enter into these moments, and have let my “guard” down. We all used to come together pretty frequently for family prayer – particularly when we'd had disagreements or were concerned for other family members, etc. We also took time to give thanks for the joys and blessings we received.

You see, the devil doesn't want us to spend time in God's presence. When we choose to give thanks in all things, when we choose to focus on love and what's right in the world, Satan has no entry. It can be so easy to let ourselves slip into despair and apathy – we've all experienced these moments – after all, we're only human.

Upon the celebration of Ash Wednesday last week, our family signed up to participate in several activities during the Lenten season, designed to strengthen our devotion and faith during this time of preparation before Easter. Because of recent events, our desire to take part in anything has been very low, to say the least. Being very active in our faith community, we've encountered the devil's obstacles and attacks each time we've begun a service project or joined in any kind of activity meant to increase and strengthen our faith in God. I now see that Satan has tried to use this opportunity to break us, and keep us from fully experiencing God's love and mercy.

My positive message today? I'm not going to let it happen - I won't let Satan win. I'm not saying it's going to be a piece of cake, but it's possible. Life can and must continue. I can choose to continue to see God's Blessings around me each and every day.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase."

 ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Even amidst great tragedy, we can continue putting one foot in front of the other, day-by-day, week-by-week, year-by-year. By doing so life brightens before us, most times without us even realizing it. I was struck by a report on the early news this morning as I got ready to head out to work. Joannie Rochette, an Olympic figure-skater for Canada (their national champion as a matter of fact), found out only 2 days ago that her mother had died of a massive heart attack after arriving in Vancouver. This young lady has made the courageous decision to compete tonight, in spite of her tragedy and loss, knowing that her mother had been her biggest fan and supporter. It's not just a matter of willpower (although it helps). We have to continually practice trusting in God – His light is there to surround each step of our difficult journeys – all we have to do is ask Him to join us. We can find Joy in the fact that he will never leave us.

Though our options might not always seem clear, we always have a choice. Sometimes it seems so much easier to take the easy way out, by not doing "anything." Letting things be while we sit and stew about what we've done wrong, or who's wronged us, or the blows that life has dealt us won't carry us forward. While a good cry, cleaning the house from top to bottom, or maybe pounding out our frustrations on a construction project will help release the tension and stress we're feeling, eventually, we must continue on.

We can always find light and love in moving forward. By allowing Satan and his negative forces to creep in, we are slated to remain in the dark.

Asking the angels, saints, and those that I love to pray for me, I will strive to continue to live as though each day were my last. Surrounded by that much love, how can I go wrong?

Oh, and something else the devil doesn't like?

Paying it forward.

Pay it forward – spread a smile!

Image courtesy of Google Images.
(Posted today at: A Dose of Positivity)

365 Lessons-Lesson 23: Nurture Creativity

My sister sent me this video yesterday. It was kind of what I needed to hear. The author of Eat, Pray, Love talks about nurturing creativity. I find it can sometimes be a hard thing to nurture and protect at times. Our passions can sometimes get squashed when the realization hits that we need to make a living and living our passion is somehow not going to be the way we do that. Life takes over, and sometimes, for me...remembering to nurture my creativity or in this case, my writing, which is my passion, is no easy task. It takes constant effort, but it is worth every step. Here's the inspirational video my sister sent just when I needed it:





Sometimes I feel like all the artists, dancers, and writers out there are known because they must be geniuses. I don't think so now.

(I painted this painting called Clear Fall Day in 2006 after a meditation course. I've never painted anything in my life on canvas before or since. This all goes to show that we all have this creativity inside us. We can do and be anything we want to be)

We all have amazing gifts to share with this world. We are all geniuses. If you are passionate about something. If you have a dream. If you are an artist, a mother, a dancer, a painter, a traveler, a knitter, a sewer, a trumpet player, a doodler, a whistler, a gardener, a whatever and you LOVE doing what you are doing, NURTURE IT! Believe in what you are doing and do it. If you feel happiness from what you are doing in life, that happiness spreads to all those around you. There must be something you do in life that makes you happy. Make that your priority. Protect it at all costs. When we are doing what we love we inspire other people to do what they love and it goes on and on and on like this. All of us have these gifts inside us. I am grateful for everyone I have met here because I see that you all are doing just that!