It Was all I Ever Wanted

It was all I ever wanted.
Not that I minded the age,
it was an old key meant for it's worn place.
But something was different.
After the death and robbery, I understood.
It couldn't be any other way. Things change. Life moves on.
I've heard this.

Passing through the keyhole,
a life lived and shared was worth it after all.

So soon, it became clear to you that the shine was gone.
But did you know you were so beautiful?
Did you know that every wrinkle
opened my heart even further to your inspiration?

What was worthy became more so.
It didn't matter that your surface had a rough feel.
It didn't matter.

Your opening was all I ever wanted.
When I could turn the key and find you,
in your scuffed and worn beauty,
I was immersed in a new light.
An innocence revealed us,
I opened in the sun of you, Mom.
It was all I ever wanted.

Cynthia Pittmann

Also, published in Oasis Writing Link
(Photo credit: Willow. A writing assignment from the worthy Ms Willow of Magpie Tales)

Swapping Roles

Sometimes I'm not sure who is the wisest in this Mother/Son game... hoot hoot...

“The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.” - Peter de Vries

I was having an online chat with my friend Juliette today, she always inspires me – she home-schools her son, runs an inspirational book store and is soon to go to America to do a workshop based upon ‘Nurturing Spirituality in Children’, with author of said book, Peggy Joy Jenkins.

She is so excited about this her words danced off the screen and did a square dance in my lounge room!

I confessed to Juliette that I was struggling to nurture the spirituality in Monte, though I desperately wish I could.

By that I mean  I want to nurture what is natural and authentic about him before modern and pop culture influence him to such a degree that he starts to lose sight of the very soul that he is, now.

The last couple of days have been challenging to say the least.

I’m not sure whether it’s because Monte has entered a new phase of independence or if I am just losing the plot or a combination of the two but suffice it to say mayhem has a new address.

Every new phase Monte enters, I enter one as well.

Traditionally, you think of raising the child as the parent teaching all they know to this innocent little being, and it is the parent that is all wise and knowing- but it is the opposite, my God it is the opposite.

I am the student and Monte is the teacher, massively.

In the last couple of days Monte has really been focusing on areas I need to develop: Patience and presence of mind.

To teach me these tough lessons he has come up with some really creative techniques.

1) Running around house with enormous knife from the dishwasher

2) Climbing onto Dining Table and standing up on it laughing

3) Eating a crayon

4) Using a pencil to eat an apple

5) Smudging yogurt on the couch

6) Screaming like he is auditioning for the Exorcist when I take something away from him or put him in the car, or … want him to go back to sleep at 5am.

So far, I have failed both my exams and my assignments in patience. In fact, I got a big fat D and a little note saying “You really need to cultivate presence of mind and patience, while Monte teaches you about these things, you are simultaneously teaching him through your reactions. See if you can rework them”

Since getting my D yesterday, of course, I have done what all failing Mothers do – berate themselves with the “I’m no good as a Mother,” “Why did I react how I did?” “I’m a horrible person” and yes, there have been some tears shed and some arms flung into the air with “I don’t know how to do this!”

But, thanks to Juliette and that fabulous quote she sent my way just when I needed it – I have looked for the lessons from Monte.

I am onto him, I am going to do a right back at ya lesson and show him that I can be patient, I can be present (and I can put the knives somewhere out of his reach).

I am going to be grateful that he has shone a light on areas that need improving and I am going to rise to the challenge by consciously improving them.

Sure, I could keep my arms flung in the air and keep the mantra ” I am no good at this” or I can embrace the challenge and cultivate what needs cultivating.

If I can pull this together and turn my impatience into patience and my non-presence into presence – I will be able to look Monte in the eye and confidently say “So, who is the teacher now?”

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10 Things Motherhood Has Taught Me

Good God I have become a Softie!


1) Words are Overrated
I have the most amazing interactions with my son. Sometimes "Car" is the only word exchanged
2) Babies Need Respect
Just because they are smaller and less advanced in the moving and speaking stakes they are human beings with needs, rights and personalities
3) Perspective
No matter how many times I might look in the mirror and am disappointed at what I see, there is a little boy tugging at my shirt while I put on my mascara who thinks I am the most magnificent being in the world (and if I don't mind can I pass him the mascara so he can put it in his mouth)
4) Love Conquers All
Even sleep deprivation (unfortunately) deprivation, oh I already said that ummm.. yep number 4 ummm you can function and punch out sentences that make sense even with sleep deprivation due to the love thing I mentioned
5) I'm Easily Manipulated
The cry or nagging of my son propels me into swift action - I am not sure that I will make a very good disciplinarian - he will more than likely discipline me
6) Women are Born Multi-taskers
Men are single-taskers - life will be happier if I just accept this
7) I Have An Adoring Audience on Tap
I can try out new dance moves, silly voices and songs whenever I feel like it
8) Poo Happens.
Particularly when in a rush
9) Keep it Movin'
To get over stuff quickly and to see things from another persons perspective first
10) The World is Amazing
Occassionally now I can look up at the sky with my son and gasp at the birds as if it were the first time I saw them
(Corny , I know, but true !   Unofficially number 11 is motherhood has taught me to be more of a softie than I ever thought possible)

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