Friday, August 13, 2010

How to woo the ladies

I want to tell you about a conversation I had with my eight year old boy when we were away on holiday recently.

I need to ask if I’ve potentially ruined the poor kid’s chances of happiness or if he should be okay?

Daniel, looking up from his Harry Hill book of jokes:

“Dad I have a joke for you, what did the owl say when he couldn’t go on a date with his girlfriend because of the rain?”

“I don’t know”

“It’s too wet to woo”


“I don’t get it”


“What does it mean? What is ‘woo’?”

“Ah well, that’s what you do to try and impress a girlfriend so she will marry you, when you take her out on dates and things you are wooing her, trying to impress her.”

“Oh right – funny, so it’s too wet to woo, I get it”


“So how did you woo Mum?”


“How did you woo Mum?”

I had to think fast – I’m not sure I can remember ever doing any wooing – I could hardly say two bottles of Lambrusco Bianco, a curry and the ability to breathe through my ears now could I?

“The Robot, Son”

“What Dad?”

“The Robot dance, I wooed her with my Robot dancing, she loves that dance”

“Really, did you?”

“Yep, we went dancing and I wooed her with my Robot”

At this point my wife came out of the bathroom having heard none of this conversation.

“Mum, is this true that dad wooed you with his Robot dancing?”


“Did you marry Dad because of how good he was at the Robot dance?”

Quick as a flash and totally dead pan, Jo replied.

“Oh yes, absolutely, works every time.”

At this point Daniel whooped, jumped up and started Robot dancing his way round the room saying that he had better start practicing then.

I have created something that looks, talks, and now woos just like me, I’m so sorry ladies of the future.

Also at