Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts

Thursday, March 11, 2010

In The Dark

"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark"
Rabindranath Tagore
Deciding to do a pregnancy test in the North of Vietnam during a blackout was one of the more dramatic life decisions I have made.

Cowboy and I had only been in Vietnam for two weeks and to put it simply I had become way too familiar with the workings of Vietnamese toilets.


How I wish I didn't get so acquainted with you and your smelly counterparts
We were new lovebirds caught in an incredible 9 month whirlwind that threw us into the air and plonked us down in Vietnam to become English teachers.
Or so we thought.....
We walked from the chemist back to our hotel in the blacked out village of Sapa.
"Can we do the test in the morning?" Cowboy asked
"No!" I snapped. "I have to know."
The receptionist handed us a coke can with a candle in it to take to our hotel room.
We went up to our room and I wee'd on the stick.
We sat on the bathroom floor with the candle in the can and waited for the magic stick to tell us our future.
We were both very nervous.
The whole experience was surreal.
Until now, Cowboy had found my non-stop talk of pregnancy to be  just that... 'talk'.
I saw in his eyes that he was finally contemplating what would happen if I was pregnant.
Family planning had not been on our agenda.
Suddenly the candle started to flicker and dance dramatically.
I glanced down at the stick.
It showed two lines.
"Two lines" I said "What does this mean?"


The moment that changed our lives
Cowboy quickly grabbed the instructions which were written in Vietnamese.
"Two lines means.... Vung" he reported.
I gave him a blank stare.
"Where is the translation book?"
We struggled around in the dark until we found our bible.
I flicked through urgently until I came upon the word Vung.
It meant Yes.
Although I had 'the feeling' I was pregnant, this confirmation was not what my conscious mind was ready for.
"I'm pregnant" I said.
Cowboy looked at me in shock.
The candle stood still.
"Did you hear me?" I asked
He kissed me.
My stomach twisted and turned my heart did a hula hoop.
Cowboy grabbed my other bible - " A Guide to the Advanced Soul"
"Open it, quick!" I ordered hoping for some kind of clue  on how I should be feeling.
He opened to a random page and read out the contents:
"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark"
We were going to be parents.
We had never been more in the dark in our lives.
to be continued.

Love you to visit my website 

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Dreams Do Come True!


'Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.'

Belva Davis.

I came across this wonderful quote yesterday. It was very fitting as I was thinking about a book idea which I am really excited about, but was trying to push away the negative chatter of my ego.

When I read the quote, I felt a sudden rush or reassurance. My ego stopped in its tracks and I dared to carry on with my dream.

It occurred to me that it is not enough to have a dream. You need to have faith and patience to make things happen.

DREAM+FAITH+PATIENCE=REALITY

If one of these components is missing the dream will not manifest, or it will manifest in a way which is not in the best interest for everyone involved.

As the quote by Davis states:

'Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality'

Release your dream having no expectation, releasing the need to control situations.

'If you can dream it, you can make it so.'

If you can dream it, it will become a REALITY.

Have FAITH and PATIENCE because Dreams do Come True!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

"Spiritual Battles..."

Have you ever begun a new project – particularly one that you sincerely hope will be of service or joy to others – only to be met with some sort of obstacle or negative energy?

I've actually experienced this several times throughout my life, and you would think by now that I would be tuned in to when I've let this enemy slip into my daily efforts and thoughts. I pose this problem as a person, because I firmly believe that he – "Satan," "the evil one," "the devil," "Beelzebub," "negative energy," "the dark force," (whatever you want to call it) – really exists, and in order to recognize and defend ourselves from the enemy, we must put a name to it and face it.

Surprisingly, it didn't occur to me until just this morning that my husband and I were facing this kind of “spiritual warfare” yet again. The devil has attempted numerous times to infiltrate our lives as a loving couple and tight-knit family unit. “Attacks” might seem like an extreme word to those who aren't familiar with wht the sneaky and furtive tactics of the devil can really mean, but I firmly believe that this is how he operates. Unless you are constantly on guard, feeding and nurturing the garden of your own faith, before you know it he has slipped into your life - interjecting negativity, hopelessness, anger and hatred into situations where you normally would stand strong in clear and proper judgment.

That's how he works. Personally, I don't believe the devil brings down plagues, earth-quakes, financial ruin or death. Because God has given us the gift of free will, the ability to make our own choices and decisions in dealing with what life hands us, we unfortunately have the ability to choose unwisely. And that's just what the “devil” is pushing us to do. While he probably didn't cause us to loose our job, wreck the car, or put someone else in a bad mood, he does try to “push the buttons” that cause us to react to these moments with negativity and without love. Then, he tries to keep us there – mired in the darkness of self-pity, doubt, fear, and hatred – away from the light and grace of love, peace and Joy.

I've previously written that our family has experienced some major hardships this past year. In a nutshell, over the last week our situation has continued and become worse. I admit this to you only to support and explain my recent absence from the page; it truly has become a battle for me and my family, and I apologize. While I can't read the future and still don't have all the answers, I have made additional discoveries and insight into why I've reacted to recent situations the way I have, and why my family continues to suffer.

Over the last several years, I've found that I am getting really good at directing my anger towards dirt. I'm not sure if my boys have really figured this out yet, but when I've been hit with yet another piece of bad news or situation beyond my control, I start to clean. Rather than screaming, I try very hard to just “get mad at the dirt,” and go around the house taking care of items that may not have been tidied up in a while. Not only is this kind of simple work therapeutic, I've realized it's one thing that I have “control” over. Usually after several minutes of vacuuming or dusting, my heart will start speaking to God, and I'll use that time to converse with Him about how I'm feeling.

My house is very tidy at the moment.

However, I've (we've) been bombarded with so much lately, that the cleaning hasn't totally eased the unrest and nervousness within my soul, and I let myself slip into a bit of depression. I literally haven't been able to focus, let alone write about anything “positive.”

It's become obvious to me that I've let Satan enter into these moments, and have let my “guard” down. We all used to come together pretty frequently for family prayer – particularly when we'd had disagreements or were concerned for other family members, etc. We also took time to give thanks for the joys and blessings we received.

You see, the devil doesn't want us to spend time in God's presence. When we choose to give thanks in all things, when we choose to focus on love and what's right in the world, Satan has no entry. It can be so easy to let ourselves slip into despair and apathy – we've all experienced these moments – after all, we're only human.

Upon the celebration of Ash Wednesday last week, our family signed up to participate in several activities during the Lenten season, designed to strengthen our devotion and faith during this time of preparation before Easter. Because of recent events, our desire to take part in anything has been very low, to say the least. Being very active in our faith community, we've encountered the devil's obstacles and attacks each time we've begun a service project or joined in any kind of activity meant to increase and strengthen our faith in God. I now see that Satan has tried to use this opportunity to break us, and keep us from fully experiencing God's love and mercy.

My positive message today? I'm not going to let it happen - I won't let Satan win. I'm not saying it's going to be a piece of cake, but it's possible. Life can and must continue. I can choose to continue to see God's Blessings around me each and every day.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase."
 ~Martin Luther King Jr.

Even amidst great tragedy, we can continue putting one foot in front of the other, day-by-day, week-by-week, year-by-year. By doing so life brightens before us, most times without us even realizing it. I was struck by a report on the early news this morning as I got ready to head out to work. Joannie Rochette, an Olympic figure-skater for Canada (their national champion as a matter of fact), found out only 2 days ago that her mother had died of a massive heart attack after arriving in Vancouver. This young lady has made the courageous decision to compete tonight, in spite of her tragedy and loss, knowing that her mother had been her biggest fan and supporter. It's not just a matter of willpower (although it helps). We have to continually practice trusting in God – His light is there to surround each step of our difficult journeys – all we have to do is ask Him to join us. We can find Joy in the fact that he will never leave us.

Though our options might not always seem clear, we always have a choice. Sometimes it seems so much easier to take the easy way out, by not doing "anything." Letting things be while we sit and stew about what we've done wrong, or who's wronged us, or the blows that life has dealt us won't carry us forward. While a good cry, cleaning the house from top to bottom, or maybe pounding out our frustrations on a construction project will help release the tension and stress we're feeling, eventually, we must continue on.

We can always find light and love in moving forward. By allowing Satan and his negative forces to creep in, we are slated to remain in the dark.

Asking the angels, saints, and those that I love to pray for me, I will strive to continue to live as though each day were my last. Surrounded by that much love, how can I go wrong?

Oh, and something else the devil doesn't like?

Paying it forward.

Pay it forward – spread a smile!

Image courtesy of Google Images.
(Posted today at: A Dose of Positivity)

Friday, December 11, 2009

As Fate Would Have It Or You Would Have It?

In Korea, it seems there are the Christians, the Buddhists, and those that profess no belief in anything. I am amazed with the many who rely on superstitions and fortune tellers to confirm their choices, like finding a floating message in a bottle. In many different versions of belief systems, there is much written about the importance of having a clear mind and vision for yourself. You are the result about what your think about.
In Korea, I have been fortunate enough to do nearly everything on my list, save one thing. That was to visit the artist and writer's colony in Andong. I am so close to it, and yet so far away, the problem is, I can get there, but I have no way to get back. So I chose not to go. That kind of bit me in the butt, cancelling twice because of transportation. However, I can't really be too upset over this. Instead of a week up at Andong, I wrote my little heart out during my 'vacation', which was more like being fused to my keyboard, having writing marathons that left me with as little as two hours of sleep. When I get those 'brain fevers' I loose comprehension of time and sometimes you manage to scrape together some jewels out of the whole journey.
There was a time where I was obsessed with misspelled words, messages on t-shirts that seemed to scream at me to take action. Some of these messages pushed my internal buttons, igniting rages of thought and writing. My own explorations into what I perceived as a deadening of our brains. I was enraged. Had we, as a human race, lost our ability to imagine anything anymore? Even the tag, got under my skin. The contradictions in our society, "Be your own brain; Take to Trend" made me want to start a revolution within myself. How can a writer be original if they only follow trends? Imagination is the most underrated ability we can possess.
Today, I felt like the picture above, "Spew Out Your Worries". Today, I received my working papers for China. I have been officially hired by a University to start teaching in February. I have tried and mostly succeeded in couching those worries. My chief worry, was not about the job. My chief worry was being to continue my writing on my blog, The Lotus Sutra Chronicles, and the other writing projects I have agreed to do. It was with immense relief that I found several other expatriate blogs based in China. I still managed to jump up and down with excitement holding these "work papers". I know what this journey is going to mean for me. I made a huge leap of faith and caught on to the cliff's edge and I am going for it.
The way I look at it is simple. We can line up waiting to have our fortunes told, putting our faith in a complete stranger's words. The other option is to stop and listen to ourselves. The truth about who we are is already inside of us. Spew out your worries and realize that no one else can tell a story the way you can. I don't want to encourage anyone to follow my path. There is an incredible beauty in your own path, and yes, that means spewing your guts once in a while to have courage. Not through fate, but through faith (and hard work).