In The Dark

"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark"

Rabindranath Tagore

Deciding to do a pregnancy test in the North of Vietnam during a blackout was one of the more dramatic life decisions I have made.

Cowboy and I had only been in Vietnam for two weeks and to put it simply I had become way too familiar with the workings of Vietnamese toilets.

How I wish I didn't get so acquainted with you and your smelly counterparts

We were new lovebirds caught in an incredible 9 month whirlwind that threw us into the air and plonked us down in Vietnam to become English teachers.

Or so we thought.....

We walked from the chemist back to our hotel in the blacked out village of Sapa.

"Can we do the test in the morning?" Cowboy asked

"No!" I snapped. "I have to know."

The receptionist handed us a coke can with a candle in it to take to our hotel room.

We went up to our room and I wee'd on the stick.

We sat on the bathroom floor with the candle in the can and waited for the magic stick to tell us our future.

We were both very nervous.

The whole experience was surreal.

Until now, Cowboy had found my non-stop talk of pregnancy to be  just that... 'talk'.

I saw in his eyes that he was finally contemplating what would happen if I was pregnant.

Family planning had not been on our agenda.

Suddenly the candle started to flicker and dance dramatically.

I glanced down at the stick.

It showed two lines.

"Two lines" I said "What does this mean?"

The moment that changed our lives

Cowboy quickly grabbed the instructions which were written in Vietnamese.

"Two lines means.... Vung" he reported.

I gave him a blank stare.

"Where is the translation book?"

We struggled around in the dark until we found our bible.

I flicked through urgently until I came upon the word Vung.

It meant Yes.

Although I had 'the feeling' I was pregnant, this confirmation was not what my conscious mind was ready for.

"I'm pregnant" I said.

Cowboy looked at me in shock.

The candle stood still.

"Did you hear me?" I asked

He kissed me.

My stomach twisted and turned my heart did a hula hoop.

Cowboy grabbed my other bible - " A Guide to the Advanced Soul"

"Open it, quick!" I ordered hoping for some kind of clue  on how I should be feeling.

He opened to a random page and read out the contents:

"Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark"

We were going to be parents.

We had never been more in the dark in our lives.

to be continued.

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