A journey of self-discovery

I sat in silence.

The sky engulfed me. So did the greenery.


It was a meditative state ... hearing nothing but the chirping of the birds.

The sound of the breeze in the rustling leaves.

The smell of grass.

Everything kissed by the sun.

I was at peace.

As I cocked my head to the left, I saw the freeway ... glistening metal and glass edifices. A mass of civilization. People running from Point A to Point B.

Mindlessly.

Trying to make ends meet. Trying to figure out their purpose in life through their work. Trying to survive in a consumerist battlefield.

Perched up on the green folds of the mountain, I tried to blur it out.



All needs, wants, ambition, goals -- vanished.

Replaced by calm.

It was so real, that it felt surreal.

And then came a flood of questions.

Why didn't I make more time for such escapes from a life that continued to stress me?

Why have I built a life that continually demands me to be a robot?

Why can I not just leave it all behind?

Why can't I enjoy more time with Nature?

Why can't I just spend days wandering, reflecting, marveling?

Why do I need a routine, a structure to make sense of my existence?

Why can't I just be?

Escape.

Create my own reality.

I didn't come back with any answers, but the questions keep nagging at me.

When I know what I really want to do, when I know what brings me contentment, when I know what makes me fulfilled...

What's holding me back?

Is it a false sense of security?

Is it just because?

I don't want to go down the "I don't know" street...it never leads me to any answers, just buys me more time to muster up the courage and ultimately confront my fears.


I want to close some doors and not look back.

I want to open some doors and explore with wild abandon.

One day soon we'll have to sit and talk it through.

I, me, and myself on a journey of self-discovery.

Also posted on my blog.