Monday, March 8, 2010

Chronic lying and the fallout.

If you have a relationship with a chronic liar, you have more than likely become prey to a predatory personality. There is evidence in nature that there are survival reasons for developing deceptive behaviors; animals that employ camouflage as a technique for survival is an example everyone is familiar with. At the basic animal, survival level, this was a practice that needed to be developed but when you are talking about the evolution of human consciousness, these practices that at one time were survival behaviors, when taken to the extreme and allowed to continue to develop beyond what is in balance, they become misbehavior and compulsions, addictions, and even pathologies.

The affects on a person who has become prey to a liar in a close relationship develops into confusion and self- doubt in the victim because this is what the predator uses to weaken their prey. The liar will project all of their behavior onto the other and work at systematically tearing their prey down so that they have no resistance. A predatory personality is very calculating when they go about choosing their prey, they will seek out those in whom they detect weaknesses that they can prey upon easily and then go about their work.

Those who become prey to a chronic liar in any serious, long term relationship will have a difficult time getting themselves out of the cloud of confusion they find themselves in. The most difficult and the most important step you will have to take is to find a way to have faith in yourself again and take the step on the road toward self-love. Your first step won’t be self-love, it will be more visceral - it will be self-preservation. Just as the chronic liar is going to have to be the person who comes to the conclusion that they want to end the cycle of destruction and self-destruction, the victim needs to bring themselves to this place as well. This is the first decision anyone makes toward recovery.

I've been covering the subject of chronic lying and the effects that come about at the personal relationship level at my blog The Evolving Spirit . I am continuing the series as I move into steps one can take toward overcoming this problem and moving toward recovery. I am compelled to write about this issue at this time because I feel it is becoming epidemic in our society not only at the personal level but in society as a whole. The first step toward affecting the larger consciousness as a whole has to begin at the individual, personal level.

4 comments:

angelguided said...

I agree with you that a chronic liar chooses his victim. A chronic liar is in a way an abuser, he is abusing the other's trust, playing with their mind and manipulating the person's need to believe in love. Good post!

Katherine Jenkins said...

Thanks for sharing this Aine..it can help so many. I agree that it starts with each individual..that's how positive change happens!

zz said...

It's great that you're so passionate about this topic. I hope that your writing helps people that need to hear this.

marci-me said...

I have just realized that I have a few of these in my life - I am a natural listener, and these particular relationships, I have noted before, are not about me, but about me listening to the other...and yes, I feel compassion, but the compassion goes nowhere no does any advise - same old misery as if they don't want it to end - so I have recently indicated this with one individual and of course - anger and gone - I feel lighter and better, as if a burden has been lifted - they did not like me for who I am, but for what I could do for them. Thanks Aine for the confirmation.