Saturday, November 5, 2011

Tom Cruise & Toasted Sandwiches

Well here I am home all alone with Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis, Richard Gere & Debra Winger having a Top Gun of a night with an Officer and a gentleman.

My boy is over at his mum’s this weekend, all my extremely limited friends are busy with their real lives and I’m so shit broke I’m not game take the car out of the driveway. Mind you I should be used to the being broke bit as I can’t remember the last time I had any free money to spend on myself, but that’s another blog to write.

I’ve been flipping through Facebook and all the Blogs that I follow most of last night and today just to kill time and have come to the conclusion that “ I have No Social Life ”, unless I am being an employee for my boss or a father to my son there is currently nothing else.

I seem to have lost the part where I am an individual, that fun guy that way – way – way back in his 20’s used to have a long and distinguished list of friends who he would invite over for dinner and cards all the time. That individual who used to love going to the casino to play roulette. That individual who used to love camping and exploring the world around him.

Now not to say that I am not still interested in all of the above but somewhere on the road between exuberant youth and responsible middle age I seem to have lost all my friends, my money and my direction.

Now this has me thinking, yerh I know … “ Warning, Warning Middle Age Male Going Through A Mid Life Crisis Is Attempting To Think ” … Run people Run !

My son is 14 years of age and is looking at getting his learners licence ( car ) in about one and a half years then his official licence twelve months after that, at which time he will blossom into a young man that will have his own transport and will no longer need to rely on the OLD MAN for a social life of his own ( Until he needs to borrow money to fix the car or put fuel into it ). Now this is the part where I am starting to think …. Fact 1, My son will be independent in about two and a half years …. Fact 2, Once my son is independent he will no longer need me to be spending all of my existence on him … Fact 3, Once I am not required to reserve 90% of my awake hours for my sons social life I will have the freedom to do whatever I want, when I want ( except for work hours ), I will be able to go out with my friends without having to plan two weeks ahead of schedule, I will be able to enjoy the Casino or Poker competitions without having to plan two weeks ahead of schedule, I will be able to go on road trips and camping trips without having to plan two weeks ahead of schedule, I might even be able to go to the movies or out to dinner without having to plan two weeks ahead of schedule …. Fact 4, I have no friends and have forgotten how to do all of Fact 3 …. Fact 5, “ Oh Crap ”

Now don’t get me wrong at all about this Blog, I do not regret for one second running around after my son ( and NEVER will ) and it is not possible to love him or be more proud of the young man he is becoming than I am of him but I have realised that I have sacrificed my self-identity too much over the years and have a fork in the road coming up that if I am not careful and better prepared for could put me into a spin that would be hard to recover from and cause me to crash and burn ( sorry, another Top Gun metaphor ).

Well, time to go make my toasted sandwiches for dinner, curl up on the couch with my dinner and a cold drink, Flick Tom & Kelly on, settle back and to get in touch with my feminine side with no witnesses.

Till next time

Thanks for reading.



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6 comments:

Katherine Jenkins said...

Nice title...it really caught my attention. I often think I have no social life either. I just hang out with my husband and write. But there can be beauty in that too. Better than the opposite where you have no time for yourself. Hope you enjoyed your cheese sandwich and Tom Cruise. Sending good money vibes your way! By the way, the "best" things in life are FREE!

Andrew Swansson said...

Thanks Katherine, yes I agree - often the best things in life are free and I always make a concious effort to try and keep my focus on that fact. I think that is a large part of my enjoyment from photography, the greatest shots are the natural ones that make you stop and appreciate the moment.

Cynthia Pittmann said...

I appreciate your sentiments here, A and I know that life roles can set you off-course from yourself. Sometimes we need a little "crash and burn" to get back to who we really are and set us on the new "flight path" of where we are going.

I encourage you to get out and do some physical and creative activity now before any feeling of deadline approaches. Consider yourself in training to be the real me- a kind of boot camp of self-discovery.

I'm sharing with you my own decisions based on the changes in my life. It is so easy to forget what you are all about when you are lovingly focused on the lives of others. Sometimes we have to be unbalanced (even irresponsible) to find our balance again.

Sending you uplifting vibes and freedom to enjoy your feminine side. ;)

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