Grasshopper Thoughts, Vol. I July 2010

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It's that time again. Time to clean out the great big barn of my brain and release some grasshopper thoughts. Today, for some reason, the tangent went off towards food related thoughts, so that's what I'm writing about.

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I live in the southern United States - Tennessee, to be specific. There are a great many culinary delights that are unique to our region, with one of them being sweet tea. Jug or table wine is another term you'll hear. Sun tea is a slightly different version, but for the most part, we make sweet tea here. Very sweet tea. I'm not a huge fan of the super sweet taste, but the grasshopper thought here is that I learned a few years ago that outside of the southern U.S., tea is rarely sweet. Picture my reaction one of stunned surprise. Okay, I was more than stunned; perhaps I went beyond surprised stare to flat out goggle. I hadn't heard of this fact and it just surprised me. Most restaurants in the south offer both sweet and unsweetened tea, but I didn't know that outside of the southern states, tea is normally served unsweetened. How 'bout that.

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This, then, led me onward to other food related grasshopper thoughts with the next one being cereal and the Great Soggy vs. Crunchy Debate. I cannot abide soggy cereal. I prefer it crunchy with ice cold milk. Soggy cereal looks like....well, I won't go into gory detail about what it looks like to my eyes. Suffice to say, it looks like something absolutely nasty and it tastes and feels just as bad. As in gag-inducing bad. I'm sure there are many of you out there who will disagree with me and wave the soggy cereal flag enthusiastically. There will remain a Great Divide between us, but a friendly one!

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Who made the decision that burnt cheese is a culinary error? No, no, no! That's the best part! Not burned to charcoal, mind you, but a nice golden, toasty cheesey crust...mmm, yes indeedy. This does not, however, apply to popcorn. Unless you're my Mom. She loves it. Just barely burnt microwave popcorn makes her a happy soul. Go figure.

Popsicle sticks - you know how most people almost hit the ceiling when they hear fingernails on a chalkboard? The sound of fingernails down a chalkboard doesn't bother me in the slightest. A popsicle stick hitting my teeth, however, well....let's just say it is highly unpleasant. It produces a repetitive wave of shudders similar to the timpani of a cymbal on the eardrum, only the waves are repeating on my teeth. I'm still a fan of popsicles, don't get me wrong. Banana flavor is my favorite. I just take care to keep the popsicle stick from hitting my teeth.

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Moving on to cosmetics, I have a particular aversion and peeve. It applies to lipstick or lip gloss w/ cheap candy scent/flavor. Some cosmetic companies - some of the very high end ones, in fact - use horrid candy flavors such a cotton candy, sugar, vanilla and wedding cake paired with equally horrid, fake scents. The combination can bring on an instant headache, and make people around you ask who brought cupcakes to work. At the very least, manufacturers could post one of those Surgeon General Warning labels on lipstick and lip glosses containing vile scents and flavors to alert the innocent consumers. If they have to slap flavor and scent into lipstick and lip gloss, I prefer it to not be one that fights with my whole immediate environment and my palate. Since it's my blog post and my version of my own mystical CosmeticLand, I arbitrarily declare that a minty flavor/scent rules the day. "Off w/ your head!" is the secondary declaration should you choose to dissent this mandate and slap those fake, cheap flavors and scents in cosmetics! Aren't you glad this is a mythical, mystical land?! Heads would be rolling left and right if it were real.

These are the grasshopper thoughts that consumed my mind for, oh...a good 2.83 seconds, I would guess. Writing it all down took longer, but it did open the barn in my brain and allowed the grasshoppers freedom for a wee bit. I have no idea what next month's grasshopper thought might be, so stay tuned!
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*Disclaimer:  No monetary gain has been made from posting the cereal bowl above and mentioning the website where it can be purchased.
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If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more, you can find me at Healing Morning blog.