Friday, February 26, 2010

Thank you, Son.

I called my son today. He's my first born, my little soul son, a spark from the same energy I was created from. We had a very difficult relationship when he was young. I thought it was due to our characters clashing, always assuming that he was like his father and not any thing like myself.

At sixteen years old he decided he wanted to go back to Cyprus and live with his Grandparents. I battled with the thought of not having him near me, but in the end I granted him his wish. By now our relationship was non existent, I could not say anything right and I felt a total failure as a Mother.

Three years on, the person on the phone is someone I recognize but cannot relate to the angry, scowling teen from before. The person on the phone is a grown up, but not only a grown up, an evolved individual.

I recognize this person as not only my son, but as an aspect of myself, an aspect of something bigger than us both. The words that come out of his mouth are wise, comforting and deep, but not so deep that I am lost, they reach deep into my being aligning me to hope.

Sometimes, we have to let go and stand back in order to see the truth. My son was always like this; a thoughtful, wise soul. I forgot in the day to day motions of life.

My son, not yet nineteen, had to leave me to become the person he was always meant to be. My son had to be where he is so that he could remind me who I want to be!

Thank you, Son.


Pamela Bousquet said...

A.G. -

I can SO relate to your words and insight here....

I find it very cosmic that I also posted something about maturing children last night - check it out at A Dose of Positivity.

Exciting, scary, humbling and sometimes daunting, watching our kids grow into adults is ALWAYS a growth experience for us parents as well.

Best wishes - Peace! Pam

Sharnanigans said...

that is beautiful Christina! Good on you for letting him go to discover that. What a gift it was for both of you!! Having said that - hmmmpph bit scared of the teenage years ahead, though monte is 14 months old so a way off. :-) xx

Katherine Jenkins said...

Powerful.I was also like this as a teenager. I needed to get away from home and travel the world and find out who I was meant to be. Now that I've returned home, I have a much better relationship with my family. I needed to go away and come back to find out who I am. Thanks for this, you are lucky to have such a great son.

angelguided said...

Thank you Pamela,just read your post, love the photos.I am finding synchronicity is playing a big role,we are all connected in this experience called life. x

Sharni, like I've said before enjoy these baby moments, they are to be cherished. Each stage in their development is precious whatever issues arise. Thanks for your comments :) x

Katherine, I wish I had been given the trust to spread my wings as a teenager. My parents did what they thought was right and I honour that now but maybe not then. Maybe that is why I could do this with my son. Thank you for your comments x

Beth Chapman said...

As one who also had to leave home I can tell you that what I found, what I 'grew up into', in the end, I've found, was not far from what I left. Your courage to let him go will be, and probably is, the blacksmith's fire that has forged his own.

angelguided said...

Beth, thank you for your eloquent comment. You say things so beautifully!

angelguided said...
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kbxmas said...

Christina, I'm just catching up on my reader so I'm late on commenting, but what a beautiful post. I'm glad you were able to come back together and form a new relationship. Sometimes that is what needs to happen. xoxo