Everyone is Helping us!

I have been been thinking about the idea that at soul level everybody is helping us. This implies that everything that happens to us, everyone who is in our life, especially people who are maybe not so nice to us, are helping us to evolve.

This is a difficult concept to grasp, especially when we may be in an unhappy relationship, living in squalid surroundings, in a job we don't like where our collegues are not nice to us. How can these people be helping us?

If you believe in the law of karma, cause and effect, then you may be able to see that if someone is bad to you, they are either having their turn at being the bad guy, since in a previous lifetime you where bad to them. But how do you know this is the case, and is it healthy to just accept bad behaviour on the off chance that you may have done something terrible in another lifetime?

The' Everyone is helping us' idea is a little like the law of Karma but with the difference that on a soul level we have a pre planned life contract and our soul friends agree with you to meet you in this life either as a bad guy or as a good guy in order for you to have a chance to grow. This happens by choosing to react in love instead of in hate. So if I meet someone who is bad to me, If I choose to see this as a chance to evolve, I will not be caught in the blame game and I will be able to move on.

Easier said than done. We have now been given a chance to finally put all karma to rest, not to be born again everything that needs forgiving, released, let go is to happen now. Therefore wasting time in being angry with someone, feeling sorry for ourselves and holding grudges just keeps us stuck.

So next time you catch yourself feeling 'human' try and remember that at soul level everyone is helping us. We can ask for God's grace if we find it impossible to move past our own closed vision, that we are humans having a spiritual expereince for we are indeed spiritual beings having a human experience.

Astonishing light

Astonishing light

Photo:  www.messagenote.com

It was a small thing, really.  Just a quick glance, a social smile shared between strangers walking into a building.  He politely held the door in a gentlemanly manner, allowing me to precede him inside. Yet something about him seemed sad to me.  We separated in the foyer of the building, going in opposite directions.  I accomplished the business that I came there to do and walked back outside.

It was a stultifying, hot summer day.  We were in the grip of a killing heat wave and drought at the time, so I wasn't inclined to linger in the parking lot.  Yet, I did linger.  I glanced about and noticed an ornamental park with benches in the shade.  I can't explain why I chose to walk in that direction and sit on one of those benches, but I did it.  The heat was oppressive, so much that not even the wildlife seemed to have the energy to make accustomed nature sounds.  It was quiet in the manner only a humid summer day can be.

Perhaps five minutes after I sat down, steps approached and paused, causing me to look up.  It was the man with the sad eyes, holding two frosty bottles of water.

"Can I join you?" 

I smiled and nodded, and he offered me one of those bottles of water.

"I saw you through the foyer window and thought something cold might be appreciated," he said.

I accepted the kind gesture and we began to chat.  I could tell something was beneath the surface causing his eyes to look sad, but I didn't probe or press.  He was kind and cordial, and the conversation was pleasant.  We discovered a few things in common, discussed the local area, and drank our cold water in the shade, sitting on that park bench.  It occurred to me that I had snacks in my purse and I pulled out two packages of those cheese crackers with peanut butter.  When I offered him one, he appeared to be delighted.

"A feast!" was his comment.  We munched in companionable silence.  Another several minutes passed, with more conversation.

Finally, he looked at me with a very serious expression.

"Today, I was going to go home and turn the gas stove on in my kitchen, blow out the pilot light and let nature take its course.  I felt that I had no other choice.  I went into that building to visit my lawyer and make sure all my legal papers were in order so that my family would be taken care of."

This was the cause of the sadness behind his eyes.  I knew that whatever was happening in his life, I was not qualified to counsel him properly and I said as much.  He smiled, shook his head and placed a hand over my own.

"You're imminently qualified, young lady.  There's a light about you.  A brightness in your smile that you shared with me when we both walked into that building.  You didn't have to even look at me, but you took a moment to acknowledge me...and really SEE me.  It mattered, and I wanted to thank you.  I was hoping I would see you before you left that building.  And somehow, I got lucky."

We talked some more, and he revealed that his business had failed due to the lagging economy.  His house went into foreclosure and he wasn't able to continue to pay for his two kids' college tuition.  I didn't have a lot of advice to offer; mostly, I just listened.  He was a lovely man. Clearly intelligent, well spoken, obviously very well mannered, and just as obviously tormented on a very elemental level.  We did not know one another at all, save for that unexpected meeting at the front door of an office building, and a shared impromptu drink and snack on a park bench.  For me, it was a moment to simply be there for another person who was troubled.  I never once felt uncomfortable, or pressed to create a miracle.  I didn't have that  power.  This man's life was in an admittedly challenging place.  I doubted seriously that anything I could offer could make much of a difference.  What I did know was that listening was something I could do.  So, that's what I did.

We lingered there for about 90 minutes, in that humid summer day.  I refrained from using the word "should" in any part of that conversation, simply because I strongly felt that he didn't need to hear what I thought he should do.  I figured he had probably heard many "you should's" as he struggled to cope with the challenges in his life.  I did ask him to seek some form of counseling, because the thought of this very kind man ending his life alone, defeated and sad was heart breaking.  I also asked him to take my phone number and promise me that he would text me, at the very least, for the next five days, so that I knew he hadn't given in to the temptation of his earlier plan to end his life.  He agreed to this request.

Eventually, our conversation ended.  We sat in silence and he finally looked at me and smiled again.  To my eyes, it appeared that the sadness had eased somewhat behind his eyes.

He stood and offered a firm handshake, then gathered the debris of our water bottles and snack wrappers.  He took them to a garbage can, then returned to walk with me towards our cars in the parking lot.

I wanted to hug him, but refrained because I didn't want to presume or cause any awkwardness.  We stopped at my car and I smiled and reminded him of his promise to text me for five days.

"I will do that.  In return, I want you to promise me that if a day hits for you in the future where you feel sad, or defeated, or that you're not making a mark on the world, promise me that you'll call me.  Maybe then I can return the favor.  You made a difference today, and you did it with a smile and being a genuinely beautiful person.  God bless you."

And with that, he put a hand briefly on my shoulder, then he walked away to his own car.  In the proceeding five days, I received a single text each day that said, simply, "I'm still here." On the sixth day, the text that came said, "I'm smiling again."

These days, he occasionally sends a random text, and we have developed a friendship that is solid.  I have met his family; his children are now back in college, and he and his wife are in a stable living situation.  He is in a different career and seems to be recovering well.

Why am I relating this story?  I don't know.  I actually thought that I would never share it on a public level.  I never felt it was my story to reveal.  And for the most part, I remain devoted to protecting this friend's privacy by not giving his name or any other personal information.  The other day, I read a quote on Facebook that has always been one of my favorites.  It was on my sidebar on my Facebook page and it was from the "On this day in 2010, this was your status..." section.

This is what my status was on that day in 2010:

I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being. - Hafiz

Obviously, I found that quote to be beautiful when I posted it to my Facebook wall in 2010, and when I saw the repeat post on my sidebar, I was prompted to share this story.  I posted the quote again on my Facebook wall, and added this comment:

*How's that for a good reminder of our own beauty?* 

I didn't have any special skills, or any magical answers for this gentleman that I met unexpectedly that summer day.  Something...a set of circumstances...brought us together and I was led to take the steps that I did.  Happily, they resulted in a positive outcome, with not only this man choosing a different outcome, but with a genuine friendship that continues to this day.  The above Hafiz quote was a good reminder to me that many times, we're given chances to make a difference.  And sometimes, that difference can occur just from sharing that "astonishing light of our own being".  Sometimes, many times, that alone is more than enough to make a profound difference.

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If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more, you can find me at Healing Morning blog.

What is your Reality?

It is nearly the end of the month, but more importantly we are approaching the end of the old, the end of all that we have held to be true.

For myself all the old ways of being, thinking, reacting are finding their way to the surface and making their last plea for survival. There are more arguments, more misunderstandings but whereas the people I am involved with who are my greatest teachers,hold on to the interactions as a cause to blame, seek revenge and keep the negativity alive, I know that they are just the last remnants of my old self, being played out.Of course I can quite easily be taken prisoner and stay locked in a prison with my supporting actor, but I have learnt to quickly dismiss this scenario as an illusion and move on, even if my accomplice does not.

What is important to remind yourself at this time is that others are mirroring the last remnants of the old in you and there is no need to do any 'work' on yourself but just release it to allow the new to take hold. The more you are conscious of this the less chance there is to keep re-creating dramas that keep both of you locked in the old.

This is where relationships will either break or become stronger. By releasing all anger and revenge you are free to be all that you were meant to be. This could help to bring a new lightness to a relationship, the other basking in your light, allowing theirs to shine through. Or if the other is just not at that place yet, they will find it increasingly uncomfortable to be in your presence, as you will be a bright reflection of all that they are not and also will on some level know that they need to do the work and they are just not willing to do so.

It will become increasingly difficult for people who have a strong sense of service, who feel they have a mission to save the world. This is not possible anymore for each one of us has been called to make the choice alone. We all have been given free will where we are given the choice of moving to the new where all our creations will find fruition as all is functioning from the heart. Or we can stay where we are in the old functioning in an environment where the energy is of greed, materialism and ego.

People who find themselves torn, wanting to help their loved ones to move on to a place they know exists, will increasingly find they are continuously been disrespected, their creations even though they are heart felt will not take hold in this old energy and will become disillusioned and depressed.

It is a time where we all have to become more 'selfish' not in the sense of greed or manipulation but in self love and to fully acknowledge the saying of 'if you don't love yourself you cannot love anyone else'. Also the saying, 'If you love someone let them go.' We are all here on this planet at this time with our own lessons and agendas. The overall theme is love, but we are not meant to meddle in each others lives, however much our need to help.

Last night I had intense dreams of the end of the old world and the beginning of the new world. I cannot remember the details but I 'know' the overall truth. I also 'saw' my deceased mum in my dream sitting at a stadium wearing a baseball cap, with an intense expression of anticipation on her face. I felt she was watching to see what choices I am going to make, what choices we are going to make. The whole Universe is watching us, we are the highlight of the celestial world at the moment. Our decisions are important to them as we are part of the whole, what we do affects the whole.

We are all being lovingly nudged by our guides which we can 'hear' as our sub-conscious to make choices for our higher good. Again it is our choice if we want to listen. We are also being lovingly supported by our non-physical friends of light. We are not alone, but we do need to make the individual decision of where we want our reality to be.

Much love and compassion

Christina xx

Look me in the eyes

Photo courtesy of Aglet Photography

Eye contact.  I wrote a short blurb about this in a recent blog post.  I did that because I had had the subject on my mind for several days.  It had me pondering and as I said to another friend, when I start thinking, the inevitable outcome is that I start writing.

We all know the old saying that the eyes are the window to the Soul.  I agree with this 100%.  Each of us is different in the manner that we connect with others.  For some of us, making and maintaining eye contact is simple.  Just something that you do.  For others, it is a challenge, and something to be avoided at all costs.  This is a protective mechanism, and usually happens for good reason.  If you delve deeply enough with those who are careful with making eye contact, you will find a lot of trust issues beneath the surface, married to a lot of painful experiences.

I think everyone has heard the old axiom that "the eyes are the window to the soul".  Most of us will agree that people who don't make significant eye contact impart a less than trustworthy vibe.  This is a snap judgment, of course, and may be an unfair one, depending upon the situation and the individual.

For me, eye contact is important.  In every relationship that I have, I want that strong connection to be there.  Friendship, family, business connections, as well as more intimate relationships - all need to have that level of connection, trust and the sense that you are being seen, being heard, and being embraced.

Gazing wordlessly into one another's eyes.  That is profound.  The wordless part is usually what causes people to become skittish and glance away.  When you meet a person who doesn't do this, who engages in that gaze without flinching, this is an incredible moment.  Thoughts wash through the mind, emotions are triggered, and a sense of being the very center of that person's immediate world exists.  Pretty powerful stuff!  This creates a level of willing, intentional vulnerability, meaning that you allow yourself to become vulnerable in that moment and with that other person. It also creates a bond, that wordless moment, that is indefinable.  And really, definitions aren't always necessary.

That experience, that wordless gaze, is a microcosmic moment that doesn't require anything else.  Fleeting, yes.  But with lasting impact.  Moments such as these can be a catalyst.  From one moment to the next, the world changes. Perhaps not in an earth shaking, cataclysmic manner, but change does occur.  And thinking follows.  Pondering, absorbing, reflecting.  All from one long, quiet shared look between two sets of eyes.

We each have those experiences that we remember as being a turning point.  Something occurred to stop time, briefly, with enough dramatic force that you felt the shift as a tangible instant.  Your own personal earthquake, where those emotional tectonic plates were rearranged, permanently.  From a glance, you ask?  Yes, for me, from a glance.  Well, a look is more to the point, as a glance is of short duration.  Maybe a new word needs to be created for that long, steady, quiet, powerful exchange.  "Staring" doesn't fit, as it robs the experience of depth and warmth.

Whatever label you choose to apply, there is great value in giving yourself to such a moment.  Looking into another person's eyes for long, long moments with no words, no nerves, no agenda, and no reserve is profound.

This was the thought in my last Grasshopper Thoughts post (Grasshopper Thoughts, Vol. V, August 2011) that prompted this blog article:

Look me in the eyes when we're together.  During conversation, during quiet moments, just a glance is sometimes enough; other times, a long and meaningful moment is profound....show me who you are in this way, and I will do the same. - SDS, August 2011

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If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more, you can find me at Healing Morning blog.

Find Truth through LOVE!

About a year ago I was told by a fellow blogger to search for what I believe and to stop using other's opinions, quotes, theories etc. I love to read what other people have to say on matters that are important to me. I even admit that their opinions may have helped to develop most of my beliefs.

I have been feeling very restless these past few days. I am very conscious of Moon energies and a New Moon is approaching on ther 28th August. I also 'know' that there are many planetary events taking place in the heavens and even today there are reports of a 'new' planet being discovered made out of diamonds.

I am becoming bombarded by lots of conflicting messages; I am on the one hand reading and channelling angelic, loving energies of having faith and having trust in all happening in Divine perfect order. On the other hand I am reading about the Illuminati- the people in higher places (I suggest you do your own research on this) trying to create a New World Order and creating situations (illusions) in order to keep us from seeing the truth.

What is the truth?

My son came to visit from Cyprus and we had a wonderful 3 weeks together. He is 20 years old and into Christianity. He is not following any particular church but is leaning to the side of everything that is not through Jesus Christ is heresy. Since I have more open minded views he 'lovingly' sees me as a lost soul taken over by the dark side.

We had a couple of 'loving' chats about love, life and peace and I felt I conveyed that where he believes Jesus is God incarnate on Earth to show us how much he loves us, I believe that Christ is a consciousness. I expressed that the Jesus story, whether real in historical fact, is not an issue for me as I believe that it is an allegory about spreading the Light of God, and Jesus is the pure example of this Light.

Of course this became more than a loving chat and we both found ourselves defending our beliefs. I ended the conversation saying that I believe there is One Truth and many ways to this. He replied, 'How do you know? How do you know if you do not have Jesus Christ in your life?'

I replied telling him I have Christ in my heart as we all do, it is the process of opening the heart that helps us to the TRUTH.

I have been ploughing the Internet today and yesterday looking for the TRUTH of what is happening to our planet and the cosmos and to us. I found lots of information, but for some reason I could not read any of it - either it was too scientific, too metaphysical, or too alien- like.

I realised that we need to look for the answers ourselves. The TRUTH is within us, it is in all we are doing, all that we are thinking, all that we are feeling. If I think a certain way this creates a certain truth for me. If I feel a certain way this is an indication of how I have been thinking. If I am doing something that is not in par with who I am, how I feel and how I think, then I am further from the TRUTH.

Keep it simple: Think with love, feel the love and do with love - anything else is less than the TRUTH!

The First Kiss

The faint smell of damp casually assaults my sinuses as the hard steps make their presence felt on my aching backside.

Neither of these things matter.

The aged stuffiness of the old Theatre in which we sit, and the noise of the kids running about, excitedly bouncing around on the threadbare carpets only add to the excitement of the moment; nothing can take my concentration away from the significance of what I was about to do.

Nothing.

I can hear the muffled sounds of singing. I know they are singing for me. Everything is about me. This moment will travel with me for the rest of my life, having set the wheels in motion for the rollercoaster that my soul will ride upon forever more.

We are in the middle of rehearsing one last time, for the big show that is due to open tomorrow night.

I’m nervous as hell, but really excited about being a part of this year’s Gang Show, a vaudeville style production, traditionally put on by kids from the local Cubs, Brownies and Guides, as well as my Scout troop. I’ve even got a couple of speaking parts and I can’t wait to get the show started.

I am 12, and I feel like I was born for the stage. I am one night away from stardom, and ready for the fame. I already dance at my Cousin’s dance school, so I felt at ease as soon as we began transferring our rehearsals to the actual stage. As long as nothing comes along and distracts me now, I know I will be a huge name in musicals one day.

What my acting career probably doesn’t need is a distraction such as sitting on these steps right now, holding Karen’s hand and looking into her eyes.

As the rehearsals progressed, I became increasingly friendly with Karen. I’d found myself wanting to spend more time hanging around with her than fighting and playing with my male friends, though I wasn’t really sure why. Then, earlier on today, she held my hand.

Right there in the Wings, as we waited for the next song to start.

And now we are wordlessly sitting on these hard damp stairs, backstage at the Newark Palace Theatre.

Suddenly, her face grew closer.

The hairs on the back of my neck tingle and stretch, as time adamantly refuses to tick by.

Her face grew closer.

My knee trembles as fear explodes through my nervous system.

Her face grew closer.

I stop breathing, I stop hearing. I am no longer here. The singing, the children’s chatter, and even the damp have all gone. I am nowhere.

Her face stops moving.

Somewhere, deep down in my genetic coding, I know it is all up to me from here, I am the man and the next move will have to come from me. I am going to have to man up and get on with it.

Right now.

Right here.

I am going to have to kiss a girl.

I pause as I recall the bag of pickled onion Monster Munch I ate earlier, but it is too late to worry about that now, because the fracture in time is about to heal itself. I can put it off no longer. I’ve learned all that I can possibly learn from my friends about kissing; now I’m going to have to put it all into practise.

My eyes close as my lips part and move, with a false confidence, toward hers.

The softness of her lips can only be bettered by their taste. I explode with the power of this brand new connection that links Karen’s heart to my own.

I am distracted. The world blinks out of focus for an eternity as the software in my brain rewrites itself. With its return, a new world order is born. My priorities have changed forever, because I have just learned something that will dominate my every thought for the rest of time.

I’ve finally worked out what girls are for.

Also posted at www.realbloggersunited.blogspot.com by me, because I can

Coming up for air

So I go back and look over my various blogs, writing commitments, etc. and realize it has been months since I wrote much of anything publicly.  A lot of that that time was spent on Facebook, and some of you may have noticed that I recently deleted my account.  The reasons why are perhaps hard to explain clearly, but I'll do my best.

Over the past decade I had allowed my community to become mostly virtual.  This was the result of a lot of things, both circumstantial and through my own actions.  The shape of my social life had become very narrow and isolated.  Then when "real life" impinged upon my routine I realized that I needed some real life connection, and that my digital family was dangerously ephemeral.  Nothing personal against you, if this includes you - just that I needed to reach out to people I could actually feel, see, and hear.  I had been a political/social/pop culture blog junkie through the oughties, and gone more or less cold turkey to save my sanity; I realized I was repeating the same problem with Facebook, and had to cut myself off.

I currently live in a rural area where my main social interaction is limited to immediate family and longtime family friends.  I still write but am in something of a state of hibernation -- I think that the habit of putting everything out there straight from the skull without any editing is not always productive.  Sometimes you have to refine your thinking in solitude, so that when you are finally ready to say something you are delivering the best you have to offer, and aren't burdening your readers with filtering your output.  If you make a habit of delivering quantity over quality, your readers are liable to ta ke you for granted.  That is assuming you have any.

About once a week I head back into the city to hang out with my daughter.  That part is great, but I am constantly reinforced in my dislike of city life.  Maybe I'll go back to that kind of living  eventually, but at the moment it doesn't seem appealing -- the high stress, high stakes, dehumanizing, brutal crush and thrust of it all.  Out here, even the most important tasks get done when they get done; the main urgency is to live and be a human being.  What other value is there?  We walk slower here, talk slower here, think slower, make eye contact, eat together, laugh together...ironically with so much solitude available we are seldom alone.  People are not as numb to one another out here.  Sometimes they even talk to strangers.