Look me in the eyes

Photo courtesy of Aglet Photography

Eye contact.  I wrote a short blurb about this in a recent blog post.  I did that because I had had the subject on my mind for several days.  It had me pondering and as I said to another friend, when I start thinking, the inevitable outcome is that I start writing.

We all know the old saying that the eyes are the window to the Soul.  I agree with this 100%.  Each of us is different in the manner that we connect with others.  For some of us, making and maintaining eye contact is simple.  Just something that you do.  For others, it is a challenge, and something to be avoided at all costs.  This is a protective mechanism, and usually happens for good reason.  If you delve deeply enough with those who are careful with making eye contact, you will find a lot of trust issues beneath the surface, married to a lot of painful experiences.

I think everyone has heard the old axiom that "the eyes are the window to the soul".  Most of us will agree that people who don't make significant eye contact impart a less than trustworthy vibe.  This is a snap judgment, of course, and may be an unfair one, depending upon the situation and the individual.

For me, eye contact is important.  In every relationship that I have, I want that strong connection to be there.  Friendship, family, business connections, as well as more intimate relationships - all need to have that level of connection, trust and the sense that you are being seen, being heard, and being embraced.

Gazing wordlessly into one another's eyes.  That is profound.  The wordless part is usually what causes people to become skittish and glance away.  When you meet a person who doesn't do this, who engages in that gaze without flinching, this is an incredible moment.  Thoughts wash through the mind, emotions are triggered, and a sense of being the very center of that person's immediate world exists.  Pretty powerful stuff!  This creates a level of willing, intentional vulnerability, meaning that you allow yourself to become vulnerable in that moment and with that other person. It also creates a bond, that wordless moment, that is indefinable.  And really, definitions aren't always necessary.

That experience, that wordless gaze, is a microcosmic moment that doesn't require anything else.  Fleeting, yes.  But with lasting impact.  Moments such as these can be a catalyst.  From one moment to the next, the world changes. Perhaps not in an earth shaking, cataclysmic manner, but change does occur.  And thinking follows.  Pondering, absorbing, reflecting.  All from one long, quiet shared look between two sets of eyes.

We each have those experiences that we remember as being a turning point.  Something occurred to stop time, briefly, with enough dramatic force that you felt the shift as a tangible instant.  Your own personal earthquake, where those emotional tectonic plates were rearranged, permanently.  From a glance, you ask?  Yes, for me, from a glance.  Well, a look is more to the point, as a glance is of short duration.  Maybe a new word needs to be created for that long, steady, quiet, powerful exchange.  "Staring" doesn't fit, as it robs the experience of depth and warmth.

Whatever label you choose to apply, there is great value in giving yourself to such a moment.  Looking into another person's eyes for long, long moments with no words, no nerves, no agenda, and no reserve is profound.

This was the thought in my last Grasshopper Thoughts post (Grasshopper Thoughts, Vol. V, August 2011) that prompted this blog article:

Look me in the eyes when we're together.  During conversation, during quiet moments, just a glance is sometimes enough; other times, a long and meaningful moment is profound....show me who you are in this way, and I will do the same. - SDS, August 2011

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If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more, you can find me at Healing Morning blog.

Find Truth through LOVE!

About a year ago I was told by a fellow blogger to search for what I believe and to stop using other's opinions, quotes, theories etc. I love to read what other people have to say on matters that are important to me. I even admit that their opinions may have helped to develop most of my beliefs.

I have been feeling very restless these past few days. I am very conscious of Moon energies and a New Moon is approaching on ther 28th August. I also 'know' that there are many planetary events taking place in the heavens and even today there are reports of a 'new' planet being discovered made out of diamonds.

I am becoming bombarded by lots of conflicting messages; I am on the one hand reading and channelling angelic, loving energies of having faith and having trust in all happening in Divine perfect order. On the other hand I am reading about the Illuminati- the people in higher places (I suggest you do your own research on this) trying to create a New World Order and creating situations (illusions) in order to keep us from seeing the truth.

What is the truth?

My son came to visit from Cyprus and we had a wonderful 3 weeks together. He is 20 years old and into Christianity. He is not following any particular church but is leaning to the side of everything that is not through Jesus Christ is heresy. Since I have more open minded views he 'lovingly' sees me as a lost soul taken over by the dark side.

We had a couple of 'loving' chats about love, life and peace and I felt I conveyed that where he believes Jesus is God incarnate on Earth to show us how much he loves us, I believe that Christ is a consciousness. I expressed that the Jesus story, whether real in historical fact, is not an issue for me as I believe that it is an allegory about spreading the Light of God, and Jesus is the pure example of this Light.

Of course this became more than a loving chat and we both found ourselves defending our beliefs. I ended the conversation saying that I believe there is One Truth and many ways to this. He replied, 'How do you know? How do you know if you do not have Jesus Christ in your life?'

I replied telling him I have Christ in my heart as we all do, it is the process of opening the heart that helps us to the TRUTH.

I have been ploughing the Internet today and yesterday looking for the TRUTH of what is happening to our planet and the cosmos and to us. I found lots of information, but for some reason I could not read any of it - either it was too scientific, too metaphysical, or too alien- like.

I realised that we need to look for the answers ourselves. The TRUTH is within us, it is in all we are doing, all that we are thinking, all that we are feeling. If I think a certain way this creates a certain truth for me. If I feel a certain way this is an indication of how I have been thinking. If I am doing something that is not in par with who I am, how I feel and how I think, then I am further from the TRUTH.

Keep it simple: Think with love, feel the love and do with love - anything else is less than the TRUTH!

The First Kiss

The faint smell of damp casually assaults my sinuses as the hard steps make their presence felt on my aching backside.

Neither of these things matter.

The aged stuffiness of the old Theatre in which we sit, and the noise of the kids running about, excitedly bouncing around on the threadbare carpets only add to the excitement of the moment; nothing can take my concentration away from the significance of what I was about to do.

Nothing.

I can hear the muffled sounds of singing. I know they are singing for me. Everything is about me. This moment will travel with me for the rest of my life, having set the wheels in motion for the rollercoaster that my soul will ride upon forever more.

We are in the middle of rehearsing one last time, for the big show that is due to open tomorrow night.

I’m nervous as hell, but really excited about being a part of this year’s Gang Show, a vaudeville style production, traditionally put on by kids from the local Cubs, Brownies and Guides, as well as my Scout troop. I’ve even got a couple of speaking parts and I can’t wait to get the show started.

I am 12, and I feel like I was born for the stage. I am one night away from stardom, and ready for the fame. I already dance at my Cousin’s dance school, so I felt at ease as soon as we began transferring our rehearsals to the actual stage. As long as nothing comes along and distracts me now, I know I will be a huge name in musicals one day.

What my acting career probably doesn’t need is a distraction such as sitting on these steps right now, holding Karen’s hand and looking into her eyes.

As the rehearsals progressed, I became increasingly friendly with Karen. I’d found myself wanting to spend more time hanging around with her than fighting and playing with my male friends, though I wasn’t really sure why. Then, earlier on today, she held my hand.

Right there in the Wings, as we waited for the next song to start.

And now we are wordlessly sitting on these hard damp stairs, backstage at the Newark Palace Theatre.

Suddenly, her face grew closer.

The hairs on the back of my neck tingle and stretch, as time adamantly refuses to tick by.

Her face grew closer.

My knee trembles as fear explodes through my nervous system.

Her face grew closer.

I stop breathing, I stop hearing. I am no longer here. The singing, the children’s chatter, and even the damp have all gone. I am nowhere.

Her face stops moving.

Somewhere, deep down in my genetic coding, I know it is all up to me from here, I am the man and the next move will have to come from me. I am going to have to man up and get on with it.

Right now.

Right here.

I am going to have to kiss a girl.

I pause as I recall the bag of pickled onion Monster Munch I ate earlier, but it is too late to worry about that now, because the fracture in time is about to heal itself. I can put it off no longer. I’ve learned all that I can possibly learn from my friends about kissing; now I’m going to have to put it all into practise.

My eyes close as my lips part and move, with a false confidence, toward hers.

The softness of her lips can only be bettered by their taste. I explode with the power of this brand new connection that links Karen’s heart to my own.

I am distracted. The world blinks out of focus for an eternity as the software in my brain rewrites itself. With its return, a new world order is born. My priorities have changed forever, because I have just learned something that will dominate my every thought for the rest of time.

I’ve finally worked out what girls are for.

Also posted at www.realbloggersunited.blogspot.com by me, because I can

Coming up for air

So I go back and look over my various blogs, writing commitments, etc. and realize it has been months since I wrote much of anything publicly.  A lot of that that time was spent on Facebook, and some of you may have noticed that I recently deleted my account.  The reasons why are perhaps hard to explain clearly, but I'll do my best.

Over the past decade I had allowed my community to become mostly virtual.  This was the result of a lot of things, both circumstantial and through my own actions.  The shape of my social life had become very narrow and isolated.  Then when "real life" impinged upon my routine I realized that I needed some real life connection, and that my digital family was dangerously ephemeral.  Nothing personal against you, if this includes you - just that I needed to reach out to people I could actually feel, see, and hear.  I had been a political/social/pop culture blog junkie through the oughties, and gone more or less cold turkey to save my sanity; I realized I was repeating the same problem with Facebook, and had to cut myself off.

I currently live in a rural area where my main social interaction is limited to immediate family and longtime family friends.  I still write but am in something of a state of hibernation -- I think that the habit of putting everything out there straight from the skull without any editing is not always productive.  Sometimes you have to refine your thinking in solitude, so that when you are finally ready to say something you are delivering the best you have to offer, and aren't burdening your readers with filtering your output.  If you make a habit of delivering quantity over quality, your readers are liable to ta ke you for granted.  That is assuming you have any.

About once a week I head back into the city to hang out with my daughter.  That part is great, but I am constantly reinforced in my dislike of city life.  Maybe I'll go back to that kind of living  eventually, but at the moment it doesn't seem appealing -- the high stress, high stakes, dehumanizing, brutal crush and thrust of it all.  Out here, even the most important tasks get done when they get done; the main urgency is to live and be a human being.  What other value is there?  We walk slower here, talk slower here, think slower, make eye contact, eat together, laugh together...ironically with so much solitude available we are seldom alone.  People are not as numb to one another out here.  Sometimes they even talk to strangers.

standing in our own sunshine...

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



I stumbled across this quote today and it shot right through my brain... such a simple phrase of words, but they carry such weight and substance... who of us hasn't cast a shadow on our own life by standing in our own sunshine, blocking out the sparkle of our being and accomplishments... how quickly we are taught to take the shine off so as to not stand out too brightly against the rest of the pack... perhaps it was the words of a parent who crippled our ability to take center stage by casting doubt on our own skills... maybe the harsh words of a critic after a performance... the sting of a review after a heart based piece of prose was written... why do we never allow ourselves to be enough, even when we know we are enough...

our foundations are built and sunk into bedrock able to withstand any storm that encompasses us... foundations unshakable in the midst of life's chaotic tide... stronger than steel and more solid than bedrock.. but it takes one external voice, one opinion that what we have done is less than it could be, for those foundations to be wrenched from their moorings and leave us broken and hiding in the shadows...

why do we not grasp that what we are capable of and what we put forth is valuable

because we took the chance to dream...

natural progression of skill notwithstanding, our projects, our endeavors, our lives are valuable just as they are, because we are valuable... if we take the time to create, if we nurture, if we write or sing or paint, who is to say what we have done is less than... every brush stroke, every word written, every child nurtured, is by it's very action, blessed and holy in itself, worthy of praise and celebration...

would we stand at the shore and say that the tide should ebb and flow more smoothly, do we face the starry sky and request they be presented more orderly, do we critique the flight of the Eagle as inferior...

we routinely create and cast the shadows over our own abilities, dulling them down, pushing away the accolades of a job well done, leaving ourselves devoid of the joy of self and wholeness...

we need to remove the ability to discredit our own worth, and I know this is a difficult road to walk... perhaps the weight of abuse or neglect hangs heavy in our hearts, perhaps it is a long passed decision or mistake that haunts our thoughts, possibly a shouldering of regret at what could have or should have been.. if only... lay down the weight, and run free of the entanglements of this world, for moments past can never be undone and thus need to be filed away so as to serve only as a guide for the next mountain in our path...

let our new mantra be one of worthiness and character, competence and acceptance...

strip away the coverings and allow your true glowing colours to burst forth...

stop casting your own shadows, step forward and allow all the brilliance of who you are

to shine brighter than the rays of the sun...

embrace what you have created, embrace what you are capable of and

never let this gift be tarnished by any outside perspective...

we are glorious by the nature that we exist, whole and perfect and extraordinary...

refuse to be held back by yourself or anyone else, you deserve that much for your soul..

let those shadows cast before dissolve into completeness and perfection,

for this is how you were made... this is your right and your intention...

change...

change...

to some a nasty word... leading to a shift of comfort zone, the requirement to learn something new, a stirring up of the status quo...
to some a word filled with hope, looking forward to different circumstances which may be better than the current one...
to some a chance to grow and stretch, to move out of ones safety zone and embrace the future... change = opportunity...

for a great number of us, change equals resistance or a "heels dug in firmly in refusal" to shift out of the current and into something unknown... some of us hold so tightly to where we are, that nothing can dynamite us forward, thus losing the opportunities that this forward movement brings into our lives... stuck by fear, by indecision, or even by the "well we have always done it this way" mentality, so robs us of experiences that can and should enrich our lives... change = fear...

it seems that nothing ever stays the same.. a drive down the street reveals an empty lot where a building stood just 24 hours earlier... a turn at the next corner shows a new condo development... the world economy on it's roller coaster ride... the fast pace of technology where your newest toy is old by tomorrow... right down to the look of your Blog page... always refreshing, changing it up, keeping it fresh, keeping it new...
I think they need to update (change) that old saying that there are only 2 things in this life that are guaranteed, Death and Taxes.. well how about adding "Change" to that list...

I am always fascinated by people's reaction to moving forward and making changes... hell it feels like you fall off the grid if you don't keep up with it all these days... but why do some of us resist change so ferociously... especially when making those adjustments is for the good... I myself can count numerous times when I have also, bucked the changes, refused to get in line... soon enough to be standing on my own as the rest of the crowd moves off into the distance... don't get me wrong, I have no issues with swimming my own stream, but what holds me back, what locks my feet into inaction...

I know that I am getting better at looking at the big picture and basing my willingness to change on that, rather than a knee jerk immediate rebuff and steadfast resistance... is it wisdom, is it an eagerness to stretch and gather in all the experiences this life has to offer, even if that means stepping out into the unknown?

Am I shedding my fears and replacing that with something deeper, a sense of being strong enough and able to take on what comes at me, dealing with the off chance that some obstacles will need to be overcome along the way.

Ultimately, with whatever accompanies the waves of changes that wash over our lives, it is still a journey of discovery, that chance to learn and listen, teach and speak of our experiences with one another... a movement of ideas, of physical location, of spiritual practice and of new thoughts embraced...

open the door to something different, analyze and dissect, teach yourself something new and become changed in the process...


other posts can be found at my Blog Current Ripple  http://currentripple.blogspot.com/

Mirrored affirmation

Photo:  www.invitinghome.com

I have a dear friend that I think I have loved more moments than I can count through the mists of time.  We don't often get the chance to spend large blocks of time together these days, as life is hectic and family, work and responsibilities cut into leisure time.  This week, we were lucky to connect and spend a good portion of a whole day together and it was just sublime.

This girl is someone that I trust implicitly.  She's a true heart friend in those indefinable ways that build a solid friendship. We've found over the years that we either tend to mirror experiences in our respective lives, or one of us is just completing a cycling of an experience that the other is just embarking upon.  In this way, this reflection provides guidance and a sounding board for both of us, when we have sufficient time to spend together and really get caught up.

Our recent afternoon and evening was that proverbial breath of fresh air for me.  We played, which is always good for the Soul.  We saw a theatrical production that some friends both acted in and directed, then we had a late meal and stayed downtown to watch another theatrical production on Knoxville's Market Square.  In between all of this, we shared what we had both been doing since we were last together.  Much time had passed since then, so there was a great deal to cover, and cover it, we did.

She is in a truly good place in her life.  Settled, with someone she loves, her work life is growing and prospering and she carries that special glow that one does when everything is falling into place in Divine Order. Knowing her as I do, I was so happy to see her this happy, calm and peaceful....both inside and out.

The even greater beauty of it all was that she became a mirror for me.  This time, she is finishing this particular cycle....or rather, she is sojourning it....ahead of me.  Listening to her words and description of the steps, the decisions, the emotional healing she processed to get herself to that higher, more level place of allowing....it gave me that mirror.  That road map or template of sorts.  Because I am not that far behind her on a similar path, everything she was sharing was resonating brightly for me.  I could see the logical steps she had taken, hear the wisdom in her choices and actions, and absorb the clear outcome.  She is happy.

This reflection she gave me instilled hope in a new way for me.  Mind you, it is never difficult for me to focus on positives.  I tend to be a fairly sunny natured individual, and prefer to focus on those good, happy, uplifting moments.  That being said, I flounder like everyone else when it comes to personal dreams, hopes and wishes.  We are all so adept at getting in our own way for these goals, and I am no different.  I do have conscious intent, however, to be fully, mindfully engaged in my own growth.  What a lovely thing when I am given a gift of recognizing that this growth need not be so onerous, challenging or difficult!

Spending time with someone that I truly love and enjoy was the first gift.  Nothing polishes up the heart more than that type of interaction, basking in the sheer enjoyment of someone dear to you.  The second gift was being shown that reflection....that example that, "Look, this is how I did it, and it worked out beautifully."  Sometimes the strongest lessons don't have to be imparted through bloody struggle and painful experiences. They can be, but I don't think it's necessary 100% of the time.  What can be better than to witness someone a few steps ahead of you on a similar path, charting and negotiating their journey with determination, conscious application of intent and relative ease so that you may mirror their actions and experience a similar manifestation of ease?

Mirrors reflect.  That is their purpose.  We can choose to see through a warped lens and intentionally misread that reflection, or we can choose to gaze with clear eyes at the image.  That's my choice, gazing clearly, and engaging with purpose.  And the best part of this conscious process is that a day spent with someone I love gave me a mirrored confirmation and affirmation for where my own life is heading.  In her happiness, I see a reflection of possibilities, and I embrace them.

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If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more, you can find me at Healing Morning blog.