Make your last thought a pleasant one

Also posted on my blog.

What is the last thing you think about before you embrace sleep?

I usually review my day or make plans for the next one. If there's something nagging my mind, I try to see it objectively, rationally.

This is the time when my mind wanders wantonly. Without structure. Without boundaries.

I float back and forth in the past and present with a part of my brain looking through a keyhole into the future.

Last night, as I was tossing and turning after a rather aggravating day, I decided to focus on one thing: the one positive highlight that made me feel good inside. That introduced joy to my heart. That made me smile.

It was a tiny green hummingbird outside my office window. It flitted above the flower-less bushes just long enough to leave me mesmerized. Even if for a couple of precious seconds.

Wound up in all the commotion of the day, I hadn't even given that short-lived experience a second thought. Until that time in bed.

I recaptured that moment in time. Rewound it and saw it in slow motion. Lived it again.

I felt peace sweep over me.

Content, I drifted off.

This morning I decided I would make it a nightly exercise. When reviewing the day in bed, I'd think of the one thing, as trivial as it might be, that gave me a moment of happiness. A sight, a smell, a taste, a gesture ...

Small things sometimes light up the gloomiest of days. Things we most often fail to notice. Things that register, but not quite.

It is in the simplicity of everyday moments that life's true beauty is revealed.

I'll leave you with a poem I wrote many years ago about the essence of life:

A cuckoo on a mango tree;

A spider’s web; a buzzing bee;

A blooming bud on a thorny stem;

Dewdrops sparkling like little gems;

The sun rising in the eastern sky,

Flocks of birds soaring high;

The full moon spreading its radiant glow,

Stars that shine all night through;

The neighing of a grazing horse;

Walls covered by a carpet of moss;

An ant carrying a grain of rice,

Ever heard the talks of mice?

Butterflies romancing with the flowers;

Buffaloes chewing the cud for hours;

A kitten’s purr; a sparrow’s chirp;

Snails crawling round a herb;

A rabbit twitching its pink nose;

Water in the river that incessantly flows;

Wind blowing the pollen grains;

The smell of the earth when it rains;

A puppy lapping milk from a bowl;

Ever noticed the burrow of a mole?

Life is work and work is life,

Man always walks on the road of strife,

But – pause a moment and look around -

A treasure of beauty you will have found;

And you’ll cherish these moments for a long time to come,

These gifts of nature can never be summed.

The burden of work is overwhelmingly gripping,

But, these are the things that make life worth living!

© Mansi Bhatia.

You are not your job

Also on my blog.

I watched The Fight Club again after several years and it was interesting that different aspects of the movie resonated with me this time than when I had first seen it. Probably because of where I am in my life right now vis-a-vis a decade ago.

There are a lot of gems in this well-scripted movie, but what stayed with me most was this piece of monologue from Brad Pitt:

You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f*&%ing khakis.

Aren’t these, though, the things we identify our “selves” with the most? The brands, the paycheck, the number of rooms in a house, the front lawn, the backyard, the mortgage, the rent … but if these things don’t really matter then what does?

We judge people immediately by their titanium watches, their diamond earrings, their leather jackets. We nod our heads as they describe their professions. We “relate” with them when they talk about taxes, phone bills, and the rising cost of every consumable commodity. But do we ever look through to see the person they are?

Do we even look inward that way?

We let material things define us. Armani, Bebe, Gucci, Mercedes.

We let our jobs take over our lives.

We have no time for R&R and introspection because we’re so caught up in the “bling” of life.

We don’t look past the outer shell. We don’t seek answers. We don’t ask questions. We don’t think.

All we do is react.

We’ve let ourselves be shaped by things that don’t matter in the bigger scheme of life. Some people find their “calling” but a majority don’t even know the answer to “Who are you?” anymore. Not for anyone else, but for oneself.

And perhaps, most of us are ok with that. Perhaps, that’s how society can function “normally.” When folks don’t go out on a limb seeking answers. When people operate like machinery. Like puppets saying the same things in different languages. Pining for the same material comforts. Fighting for the same limited resources. Lusting. Hoarding.

Dying with just the clothes on their backs.

I’ve realized in the last two years that what makes me happiest are the simplest things in life. Things money can’t buy. Things corruption and greed can’t touch. Things like the twinkle in a person’s eyes. A baby’s toothless smile. The smell of the earth when it rains. A croaking frog. A blooming bud. The silence of the hills. The calmness of a lake. A sunset. Writing.

Satisfaction, I have found, comes from within. Peace follows closely behind.

It’s true that I am able to roam the world and enjoy its people and its beauty only because of the paycheck that comes with a 9-5 job. That monthly deposit to my bank account allows me to do the things I really love. But should I let it define who I am and what my life should be? Shouldn’t I let what I love define what I do?

There are things we want, and then there are things we need. Sometimes we confuse between the two.

It’s tough to let go of the lifestyle one has become used to, but it isn’t hard to review and let go of things that truly don’t matter.

This is your life and it’s ending one minute at a time.

You can choose to continue living it the only way you think you know how. Or you can ask the hard questions of your self and discover a way you never knew. In the process you might just find out who you really are.