Silver Strands

I have been thinking about silver strands a lot lately, for several reasons. One of the reasons is this blogger, Denalee at silver strands. When I first found Denalee, it was this post that caught my attention. It was about her mother having breast cancer and Denalee cutting off all her own hair to make a wig for her mom. As if that didn’t kill me enough, it was a beautiful surprise for her mom. I cried for days thinking about this woman that would do this for her mother. I wanted to fly to her state, hug her and force her to adopt me as a sister. Seriously, if you want to be inspired and uplifted on a daily basis, silver strands is the place to go.

A few weeks back, Denalee had a book giveaway and I won. Winning the book was awesome because, as I have said before, I am an avid reader and always looking for my next fix. Winning a book is better than winning the lottery to me. For one thing, it doesn’t cost me anything to enter. Ok, call me cheap. Anyway, the box from Denalee arrived and I was so happy to open it so I could read my new book. Guess what? She didn’t just send the book, autographed no less, she also sent other treats. How sweet is that!!! So here’s what I received:

Let me just say, I read the book in one day and loved it. It is sadly a true story but the lives of these people will truly inspire anyone facing lifes challenges. I could relate to so much of it having gone through illness and loss with loved ones. The other goodies were absolutely icing on this cake. The sand dollar made me cry. I have no idea why. Yes, I do. Nevermind.

Anyway, like I said, I have been thinking about silver strands. Sometimes, for some unknown reason, I can get kind of introspective and start thinking this way. When I do, this is usually what happens: I start picking apart words and how they affect my life. So that’s what I did for a few days with silver strands.

I thought about silver and how it is a common but precious metal. It also has the highest electrical conductivity of any metal. Then I thought about the word strand. How it meant several things including, tresses of hair or fibers being braided together. It also means to run aground and be left in a helpless situation or land bordering the ocean.

As I thought about these two words, I realized they fit what Denalee has been for so many. She might seem like just another common blogger but believe me, she is precious. We all are, we just don’t realize how precious sometimes. It seems easier to accept that we are common but there is something so deeply precious in each of us. Something that makes us conduits for precious things if we will just be who we were created to be. That’s it. Just be who we are intended to be and what we are intended to do will happen. I believe that, with all my heart. Then when the times of being stranded and feeling helpless come, and they will come for each of us, we will find that strip of land in another. A safe place to run aground and be loved and healed and whole.

In the end, it really is about being braided together. Each one of us no less, no more, important than the other. Life is good even when it isn’t and I am thankful. Thankful for my life, my family, my friends. Thankful for Denalee. Thankful for each one of you. Silver strands.

Apple Is My Teacher

 

By Sharni Montgomery - please visit me sometime at Sharnanigans! 
I am convinced that on the journey of life we are thrown several character tests.
Opportunities or a run-in where our decision will either send us plummeting backwards (in which case the lesson usually rears its head again in another form) or flings us forward.
Sharnanigans was recently thrown an opportunity which I experienced as a test of my integrity.
A metaphorical ‘apple’, if you will.
I was honored to receive an email offering me an opportunity to write for a major Australian Parenting Website.
They told me that they had chosen my blog along with a handful of other “Australian Mummy Bloggers” that they considered to be a great contributors to the Australian online community. (yes my head swelled considerably)
The email went on to say that they would send me a massive hamper of deluxe products from a very well known baby product company.
I could either review the products or write about a special experience of motherhood and link my story to their site, have my site mentioned on theirs and display their ‘badge’ on mine.
There is no doubt about it, I was wrapped (and grateful) to be chosen for such an opportunity.
I throw everything I have into this website and opportunities that pop up as a result are virtual pats on the back.
After the initial excitement wore off I had a think about the offer.
I considered the moment when the Courier delivered me a big hamper of goodies.
Caught up in my self-importance I got butterflies in my stomach and may or may not have bragged about the prospect to friends.
This was my angel on one shoulder, devil on the other moment.
While I was drifting in Ego Heaven a familiar voice piped up.
It was Angel.
“Ummmmm… what are you even considering this for girlfriend? I have two words for ya :  Natural.Products ! Ring any bells???  Geeeez!
(she has a bit of ‘tude this particular angel, but I’m down with that)
Oh sheesh, that is right, I am on a quest to use all natural products for my son and have been reviewing them.
Why on Earth would I do a complete 360 and start plugging a brand that doesn’t comply with this?
Blogging without Integrity anyone?
As quickly as it arrived the fantasy of the Hamper arrival went into the dustbin.
I explained that I could not accept the gift of the hamper as I would not use these products nor write about them as they would present a conflict of interest.
I said, I would, however, be happy to write about a lovely motherhood experience and wear their badge on my website.
I lost the gig.
While this hurt my ego a bit initially, I gave myself a pat on the back because I had passed my own personal test.
I am quickly learning that opportunities come along often, some are ‘tests’ sent to challenge our resolve and personal integrity.
Whether we choose to be true to ourselves at these moments or get caught up in the temptation offered and ‘take the apple’ is one of the most common challenges we face as human beings.
I have spent a good chunk of my life feasting on the ‘apples’ that have been presented to me, without a second thought!
Looking back the ‘apples’ I consumed didn’t do much to keep the doctor away or my sanity intact but if you never accept an ‘apple’ you can never learn to knock one back.
Today I am proud of the fact that I saw this situation in a new light.
While this opportunity and hamper may have been a wonderful blessing for some, for me it was a test of my resolve.
Rejecting a hamper is No Big Deal or heroic effort but the exercise was beyond hampers, it was an excellent reminder and lesson to myself.
When all is said and done, it is the tests you set for yourself and your ability to pass them that matter.

Polishing the Dull Side...

I've been obsessing over the carpet in our home lately.

First of all, it's a light color. (not white, mind you, but a very light beige!) Second, we have 3 boys, 4 dogs and a cat. Third, the house is 11 years old.....high traffic, high maintenance for eleven years adds up.

I've cleaned it, and cleaned it.  And ....cleaned it some more.  It's really starting to show  the wear-and-tear.  While part of it doesn't look "too" bad, the few real stains that are present are way beyond ever coming out.  A professional steam cleaning isn't even going to help now...

To top it all off, the wood flooring that we have throughout the kitchen, dining and hallway areas are pretty beat up as well.  That either needs to be stripped and re-surfaced, or completely pulled up and done over.  After eleven years in our home - I keep finding so many things that are now either coming due for replacement, or major repair.  It's overwhelming, and I know there's no way we'll be able to tackle these kind of expenses any time soon.

I'm not looking for perfection here, but I do mind these things when they start to look dirty and unkempt.  I've known for a while that I'm a little obsessive-compulsive when it comes to organization and neatness, but I'm usually not too picky when it comes to the heavy cleaning.  (With three boys, I'm sure you could relate!)

Why am I writing about my dirty floors on a blog that should be offering snippets of positivity and inspiration?

Even though I have been unhappy with the way certain areas in our home are beginning to appear faded or dingy, I'm truly thankful that I even have a home to clean. I'm almost looking at those stains now as  "badges of honor."  With so many families losing their homes in this dark economic era (and some losing even more) I have nothing to complain about.  Reminders that a close and loving family fills this dwelling, those stains are starting to remind me just how fortunate and Blessed our family is to have a home to clean....

Even though their bedrooms constantly need vacuuming and dusting, my boys are lucky enough to even have their own personal space, and a bed to lie on.

Even though I cringe when I note the wood decaying under the dishwasher in our small, crowded kitchen, we are Blessed with a full pantry and refrigerator.

Even though we don't have the financial means to  create the landscape of our dreams, God continues to grant us the ability to call this little slice of heaven our home....and it is filled with love.

It's more than just your average "attitude of gratitude."  This has been a conscious decision on my part to face an otherwise depressing or challenging moment, and try to turn it into a reminder of truth.

My truth:  the worn-out carpet, flooring, paint, and fixtures of my abode have never defined those who dwell within.  Home is what you make it, and how you live it.

"If you can't see the bright side of life,

polish the dull side."

-Unknown

In a nutshell:  I'm rich!!!  :)



Pay it forward - Spread a Smile !


Photo courtesy of Google images.

Fear

Fear

Of the unknown

The untrodden path

The unscaled heights

The unexplored depths.

...

Fear

Of failure

Shame

Depravity

Discomfort.

...

Fear

Of loneliness

Sickness

Disability

Death.

...

Fear

Of people

Natural calamities

Apocalypses

God.

...

Fear

Of being let down

Forgotten

Shortchanged

Taken for granted.

...

Fear

Of the known

The challenges

The obstacles

The constraints.

...

Fear

Of so many things

In life

That dictates

The paths we choose.

...

What if there was

No fear?

...

What would

You do?

Where would

You go?

How would

You live

A fearless

Life?

Also posted on my blog.

365 Lessons-Lesson 172: Keep Your Childhood Memories, But Know That Every Moment There Is A New You

Last night my dad went to bed and I stayed up a little longer. I pressed my face against the glass window in the dining room and stared out at the Gulf waters. My dad lives right on the water in St. Petersburg, Florida. Palm trees rustled in the wind. The rippling of tiny waves in the distance made me feel calm. I stared straight ahead for what seemed like a long time. Two flashes of lighting appeared by the old smoke stacks in the distance. The stacks my father mentioned would be torn down anytime now. They were using a gas system now and the stacks wouldn't be needed any longer.

The silence throughout the house made me lonely. My mind filled itself with all the memories of my time here. Like the time when a possum got in the house and my friend Sara had to capture it in a laundry basket and let it loose out the front door. I remember giggling with my friends in the upstairs bedroom, telling ghosts stories until all hours, spending endless hours in the pool, putting tin foil on my sunglasses with my friend Lena thinking it would reflect the sun more and make our bodies turn brown, water skiing behind my dad's tiny Boston Whaler. Boats, lotion, water, friends, laughter, outdoor dining under the umbrella, lizards, crickets, cockroaches...memories just came flooding in like a huge tidal wave and then passed and left me standing there with the awareness of the cool tile under my feet and the fact that it was very late.

I wandered upstairs to bed. I kept the window blinds up, turned off the light and let the sound of the palms and water soothe me to sleep.


I woke up and my dad already had the coffee on. We chatted a bit, had a little breakfast. The time goes so slow here. It's good. There's no hurry to get anywhere and my dad and I really didn't have any big plans today. Suddenly I said, "Maybe we can take the kayaks out." My dad looked at me and said, "Sure!" We walked to the side of the house and dad noticed that an old hornets nest was inside one of them. Cockroaches scurried around the bright orange plastic which seemed to magnify them.

We carried the kayaks out and dropped them on the lawn and dad hosed them off. We dropped them down from the cement wall onto the beach and slid them off into the water. I flipped off my flip flops and sank down with my bare feet into the white sand. We were off.

Once out drifting on the water, my dad tried to calculate how long he'd been at this house. He figured he'd been here since he was 39 years old. I'm now 40. It didn't seem possible that my dad had settled into this house at an age younger than my present age, but I guess it was true. As we paddled along, my dad pointed out an Osprey's nest on a boat marker. The Osprey cackled at us, thinking we were prey to it's offspring. We were now out in the open channel.

"Yeah, I've been here a long time. I'm going to miss it, no doubt there," my dad continued, as if the pause gave him time to reflect on what a wonderful place it has been for him. Soon, he will be letting his house of almost 30 years go for life in a retirement community.

We continued on in silence in our respective kayaks. Every now and then we'd drift together and make a remark on our surroundings. We watched enormous pelicans near the Mangrove trees devour entire fish, the seagulls would follow close behind picking up any remains. I watched my father silently paddle in front of me.


I wanted to seize the moment. I didn't want things to change. I wanted to freeze time. Just as I was thinking this, my father was swallowed up by Mangroves. He had entered the Mangrove tunnels.


Huge tunnels were formed by the trees and you could kayak through them. Inside, under the shade of these trees, there was a feeling of being far off on some ancient expedition through the Amazon. It was as if we had gone back in time. Once out on open waters again, civilization returned instantly. People zoomed by in speed boats, fisherman near by pulled up their nets, jets flew overhead.

Sweat poured from my brow in the final stretch back to the house. It must have been 90 degrees outside. Good thing I had suntan lotion on. We pulled the kayaks up onto the grass again, pulled off our sweaty clothes down to our bathing suits and jumped in the pool. The water cooled me instantly.

Later we sat under the shade of the porch awning and ate leftovers from the night before. I know things will change. I've always known that, but somehow, this time, I want to hold on to each moment.

Also published on my blog Lessons from the Monk I Married

Gratitude, feedback, a request, and something for nothing..........

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure if this is the best place for this sort of thing, but I figured that most of you would read it here.

Some Gratitude

First of all thanks for all the posts! I am really appreciating your writing and ideas. I do have trouble keeping up with all your posts, and I would like to spend more time commenting, but I have a deadline and I am on an internet restriction. I have thought about just leaving a :) to indicate I have read your posts, but instead I'll just say it here. Thanks for your comments on my (infrequent) posts.

Some Feedback

Is anyone else finding that the Writer's Rising page takes ages to load? It might be just me but I have my suspicions about the widget globe thingamujig. If it is that is there anyway we could bypass that besides just reading RSS feeds?

In my reader (IGoogle) RSS feeds don't include comments, so I always open up the blog to check them out and wait and wait for the page to open. Any ideas? Any solutions?

A Request

Finally, I would welcome any tips on productivity, writing, editing, and managing long projects that you have found useful. I am trying to finish off something big and I need all the help and inspiration that you can offer.

And here is something for nothing

My current favourite productivity mantra: One thing at a time. Most important thing first. Start now.

Namaste.

Balance, balance, wherefor art thou balance?

By Kristin Brumm (Wanderlust)

I’ve always been a good multi-tasker, a high energy person able to keep lots of balls in the air at once. Before I married I worked full-time, studied evenings and weekends for my graduate degree, stopped at the gym on my way to work in the mornings and managed to squeeze a satisfying social life in between all of this. So I imagined fitting kids into this equation wouldn’t be too hard, right? Right?? Oh settle down you in the back! If we all knew what parenthood was going to be like going into it our species would come to an abrupt halt.

Yeah, so, those images of me rocking a cradle with my foot as I put the finishing touches on my dissertation, or edited the final version of my novel? Dust. Go ahead and insert laugh track here.

The first few years of parenting are like being caught up in a cyclone. You have no idea what has hit you. You are powerless. You simply surrender because honestly, what else is there to do? You diaper, feed, soothe, bathe, dress, undress, sleep (well, not really sleep) in an endless loop. At some point, however, you wake up and realize your children have gained a modicum of independence and you can do things on your own for brief periods of time (go up and down the stairs, read a book, pee alone!) and it is deliciously liberating. It is about this time that fate whispers in your ear that perhaps, perhaps your life can be blessed with balance.

After all, there are scores of books and articles in women’s magazines dedicated to the topic. Articles with pictures of slender women with nice complexions sitting comfortably in lotus pose. It must actually exist, this balance. I’m sure I could achieve it if I just managed my time better, said “no” to the things that drained me, spent less time reading emails, took more bubble baths, dressed in earth tones and lit candles and baked organic cupcakes with my daughter, right? Right??

When I first came out of my mommy coma and started to do things for myself again, it was exquisitely gratifying, like a long rain after drought. I renewed old friendships. I read books. Lots and lots of books. I traveled to Australia with a girlfriend. I wrote. And wrote and wrote and wrote. All of this fed a deep need in me that I had abandoned during the selfless, faceless first years of childrearing. And yet it just touched the tip of the iceberg. Because there was still work and kids and all the day-to-day responsibilities of a life. But there was also something else. There was a noticeable backlash from my children. When I would sit down and open up my laptop (which was often) they would respond. First with sighs, later more strongly.

My daughter told me, “I think you love your computer most of all.”

My 5-year-old son: “I hate your computer.”

And two nights ago my daughter had a dream that I was leaving to go to Australia but could only take one child with me.

Wow.

Okay.

Here’s the thing. Balance is a fine concept. But it is just that. A concept. There are times in our lives when it is more achievable than others (retirement comes to mind, our twenties perhaps). I don’t think raising small children is meant to be an easy, relaxing time in our lives. Throw full-time work into the mix and it’s even less tenable. (Though, honestly, I don’t know that it’s any easier for those parents who stay at home – just a different set of challenges.) I’ve come to accept that I will probably not feel well-rested and sated in all the myriad ways I would like to be for quite some time, and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean I will stop seeking balance. It’s a necessary goal. But I think of it less as a final destination and more as a mark by which I navigate, something that keeps me from going too far off course in any one direction.

Lately, this has meant closing up my computer and getting down on the floor to build a train station out of Lincoln logs. Or sewing the arm back on Bear. Again. Or baking cupcakes with the kids (not organic, sorry) and letting them lick the bowl.

My kids will probably never have as much of me as they would like. I will never have as much of me as I would like. We’ll each have to live with that and do the best we can. I’m willing to give up more of myself to them now because I know that one day, I won’t have the honor of them wanting to spend all their time with me. I want to enjoy being at the center of their universe while it lasts. Soon enough, life will call to them and I’ll be left with time on my hands. At that point, I suppose I can unearth the tub from beneath the plastic boats and crayola bath crayons and cherry bomb no-tears shampoo that currently live there, and take that coveted bubble bath.