In the blink of an eye

Sometimes it takes extraordinary circumstances to make you truly appreciate the ordinary; the everyday things that we so often take for granted.

Like sight, for example.

Last night I was pottering around the house, doing a bit of pool maintenance and while I was filling a container with caustic cleaning fluid, a drop splashed out of the bucket and straight into my eye.

At that moment, a wave of panic washed over me. As I rushed to the laundry, screamed for help, shot up some urgent, fervent prayers and started to flush my eyes under the tap, it dawned on me just how quickly things can be permanently altered.  All it takes is one slip, one wrong turn, one small accident and life can change forever.

Without my vision, I would never see another sunrise. The absolute delight of that moment when the sky starts to streak with colour would be permanently etched in my memory but would never again be experienced.

Without my vision, I would miss the joy of seeing my family and loved ones grow older. I would miss the cheeky smiles, unsaid words, winks, nods and silent tears I may ordinarily be able to wipe away.

If I was unable to see again, my freedom would be limited. I would never drive again and would be unable to step outside of my home alone.

Without my vision, I would never again be able to read a book; wouldn't be able to relish the moments when I can curl up with a cup of tea and totally immerse myself in a world of fiction. My ability to learn and discover via a trip to Borders would be something I would surely miss.

Without sight, I would feel detached from the world I have come to know as my own. I would be unable to cook, go for long walks, surf the Internet or watch a movie. I wouldn't be able to stand and take in a view, put on my makeup or clean my own house.

If I lost the ability to see, whilst it would certainly not be the end of my life, it would mean a tremendous loss of things I love so much, yet daily take for granted. 

Thanks to a quick reaction on my part, an even quicker jump to action by my beloved, and a prompt, thorough treatment at the local emergency department, I am relieved to report that all is now well with my eye. Whilst it is a little tender and puffy from all of the trauma, I have completely clear vision and no pain or side-effects. The doctor who followed us up this morning said that I was very lucky as alkaline-based products can be far worse and more damaging than acid.

Lucky? I think not. I am blessed to have a God who is looking out for me.

And blessed to have the gift of sight; something I want to appreciate and be thankful for every single day of my life.

Also posted on Write Minded

Dreams Do Come True!

'Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.'

Belva Davis.

I came across this wonderful quote yesterday. It was very fitting as I was thinking about a book idea which I am really excited about, but was trying to push away the negative chatter of my ego.

When I read the quote, I felt a sudden rush or reassurance. My ego stopped in its tracks and I dared to carry on with my dream.

It occurred to me that it is not enough to have a dream. You need to have faith and patience to make things happen.

DREAM+FAITH+PATIENCE=REALITY

If one of these components is missing the dream will not manifest, or it will manifest in a way which is not in the best interest for everyone involved.

As the quote by Davis states:

'Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality'

Release your dream having no expectation, releasing the need to control situations.

'If you can dream it, you can make it so.'

If you can dream it, it will become a REALITY.

Have FAITH and PATIENCE because Dreams do Come True!

Civility: A golden rule

Also on my blog.

Sitting across the board room conference table you have a disagreement with your colleague -- do you shout and tell them to shut up because you know you're right?

Do you stand up defiantly, raise your hand, and say, "You are useless. You have no idea what you're talking about. Get out!"

Do you cross your arms against your chest and with piercing eyes, say, "So what? I don't give a damn!"

Do you attack their personal beliefs, drag their marriage or sexuality into your rant, and shower profanities?

Do you stuff your fingers in your ears as they start to speak and run around the room going "La la la la la la la la"?

No.

You would probably try to rationalize in a calm voice. You would most likely say something like, "I guess you're trying to say ABC, but hear me out because I'm saying XYZ."

You would, if you were talking about something diametrically against their point of view, perhaps even go to the extent of saying, "You are looking at this from your perspective, but the way I see it..."

Maybe you'd count to 10. Think and rethink before you blurt out. Wonder if it's belaboring a point and a waste of everyone's time.

Maybe you'll even put yourself in the other person's shoes and decide to give them another chance.

What you wouldn't do is call the person names or even obliquely try to drag any personal issues, theirs or yours, into that professional conversation.

There is something that holds you back from shouting like a two-year-old and having your voice heard. Something that tells you it's inappropriate. Something that restrains you from being rude, uncivil, impolite, and crass.

It may be the fear of getting fired. Or being judged. Or just holding a high personal and professional standard. It might also be an ingrained part of your being that came from a good education.

You might disagree completely with a person, but you wouldn't be uncivil.

In most cases, the same behavior transfers to personal relationships.

Maybe you fight a little harder, show your emotions more openly, point fingers, and sulk with your loved ones. But even then, you don't intentionally, at least, disrespect them. You try not to generalize and either try to bring the argument to a resolution or agree amicably to disagree in favor of living under the same roof peacefully.

But when it comes to conversations on the Internet -- be it instant messages, responses to "controversial" status updates or tweets, or even blog comments, that something that keeps us civil in other settings doesn't seem to apply.

Don't get me wrong -- most people are as courteous in their written communication within the social media sphere as they are in real life, but there are a significant number that shock me with their smuttiness.

They hurl abuses. Get personal. And stray off-topic just to show a person down.

No restraints. No courtesy. No room for agreement.

No room for anything except their point of view.

And not all of them hide behind the cover of anonymity either. When they post something extremely offensive in response to an NPR report on Facebook or tweet a rude personal, albeit public, comment to a Washington Post reporter, their names and Twitter handles are visible to all. Yet, they somehow feel protected. For some reason the intertubes provide them with a notion of safety. Of being untouchable.

This is where they can give someone their piece of mind. Someone they don't even know. Someone they've probably never met ... and never will.

Maybe that is the crux of the issue...

The fact that this "someone" is "somewhere" in the ether -- a real person but with no real significance.

Someone who they don't have to interact with on a daily basis. Someone who they are never going to get close to. Someone who doesn't really matter to them.

And if they don't matter -- heck, why care about them? Why bother with being civil? Why spend time being polite? Why not just dump all your angst on this person and move on ... to your next target?

It's easy.

And I guess that's why people uninhibitedly curse on the road or flip off motorists. They don't know 'em, so how does it matter?

But isn't this behavior the most telling of one's character?

Doesn't this devil-may-care attitude and crassness online reflect on who they are as a person more than anything else? The internet just brings out their true nature. This is the real them -- callous, close-minded, narcissistic, stubborn men and women who refuse to acknowledge the existence of another perspective. They will argue to death with a stranger who "doesn't matter," so to speak, just to satisfy their egos.

And if you're on the receiving end of such bashful commentary, what do you do? Do you also stoop to their level to show them who's the man? Or do you take the high road?

It's easy to get sucked into the rudeness spiral. But, just as in real life face-to-face confrontations, you control your actions online. Just as you wouldn't flip off someone you know, just as you would tell someone being rude to you that it's inappropriate and you don't appreciate it -- you ought to be the calm, rational, composed person online.

I'm not advocating taking crap from anyone, but don't lose your decency.

You're better than that.

This woman behind the curtain requests an honorary ThD

Towards the end of The Wizard of Oz the Wizard steps out from behind a curtain and is revealed as a short, bald, ordinary man. His trickery, machinery and a powerful microphone have guaranteed his power in the Emerald City.

We all have an Oz behind the curtain pulling the levers.

You know what? I have been the Oz in our family for 21 years. I am the woman behind the curtain, who has consistently organised and planned holidays, remembered birthdays, mentally tracked finances, billing periods, and nutritional needs. I have kept a running tally (in my head) of the amount of bread and milk, toilet paper and washing powder in the cupboard and performed the role of our home’s mental calendar for all appointments and engagements.

I have been the researcher for all child related care, discipline, safety, health, and education options. This information springs instantly to mind as required. I learned a whole other language in my apprenticeship. But it's not written down.

I could be wrong but in my experience it’s often the Dads who are responsible for their own particular activities and Mothers who take on responsibility for all family related mental tracking.

Think about it. With mental tracking there is a lot of stuff in the air, spinning like china plates on sticks. Mothers just have more to lose if something get’s dropped. That’s a lot of mental exercise.


So I’d like a ThD just like the one awarded to the scarecrow by the Wizard of Oz.

A ThD? That’s a Doctor of Thinkology.

It’s only fair.

Longing

A voice echoed
across the valley of silence.
Wafted
over the lush green trees.

Climbed
the steep mountain slopes
along with the delicate beams
of the rising sun
that began their ascent
at the start of a new day.
Searching.
Calling.
Longing.

For him.

Her voice echoed
across the valley of silence.
Melodious. Like the sounds
of the gushing stream that
she splashed across.
Barefooted.
Weary. Tired.
From the journey she began
so long ago.

Yet her eyes gleamed
with the brilliance
of a hope
that only a lover would know of.

She knew he had walked among
these trees.
Knelt down and drunk
from the waters that now
bathed her feet.
He had quenched his thirst
yet his heart
pined.

For her.

He had looked across the lake
at the tresses of the willow tree.
Like her hair
that cascaded down her shoulders.
Intoxicated with the memory of her fragrance
as she surrounded herself
by his embrace,
his heart had skipped a beat
and filled a moment
with silence.

Silence.
That could only be broken
by the sound of
her voice.


Also posted on my blog

May I Have This Dance?

Nestled in the fingers of winter’s trees the moon and silhouettes begin their dance. A sentry bird calls out the watch echoed by another in the distance. Each recognizes the voice of the other. The moon and winter’s trees have danced before. There is rhythm in this dance. I recognize this chorus. I know the refrain.

If you desire to join in my dance,
Then take my hand and let us glide
Amidst heaven’s starlight chandeliers,
Having neither clock to strike tomorrow
Nor a calendar to speak of yesterday.
For we have but this moment, now
And already are what we were,
And contain within, what shall be.

From behind the curtain the sun makes its entrance and enters the dance. The sentries continue their songs. My mind is stretching like winter’s trees to remember the last line of the song. Silence descends and I listen to my breath which completes the song

My dance shall not be a solitary one
For when one dances as sun and moon,
One can never dance alone.
For inherent within the dance itself
Is the possibility of an eclipse.

[also posted on my blog]

Push me, Pull you

Inspired by my dear friend, Beth Chapman's wonderfully thought provoking post, Saying Yes in her Hope's Breath blog, here I am a while later, with the thoughts a-whirling. What is it that we do, that dance of aggression one moment, magnificent dismissal the next, yet another time rushing in with earnest enthusiasm, all with an eye towards creating an exchange of energy. "I'm right, you're wrong." "Don't do that, do THIS." "That's nice, but let's change it." Someone always wants and needs to be holding the upper hand. That phrase, by the way, "getting the upper hand" is derived from...a GAME, people!

"Having the upper hand is one such expression which originated with the advent of the game of baseball. In order to determine which team would bat first, a player from each team would come forth. One player would hold the lower end of the bat and the player from the other team would place his hand above it. They would continue alternating hands this way until the last hand on the bat would be the upper hand and that team would get to bat first, having got the upper hand." The Tribune

How's that for being as triumphantly "right" as any euphemism can be?! It is the epitome of "one-upping" and underscores how we so often look at life as a competition. Personally, I have never been competitive with others. In fact, I find it to be a very unpleasant situation to be in when another person practically sprouts fangs and salivates in delight at the opportunity to beat someone else down "in friendly competition". There is nothing "friendly" about that "I win, so you must lose" mindset, and it doesn't foster anything positive that I have ever witnessed.

As always, I take a bit of time to get to the point, and my point is, we're always in motion. Saying "yes" or "no" to anything, any situation, anyone, causes a reaction. Entropy ensues. You don't stick a glass in mid-air, release it and walk away thinking it will hang suspended, do you? Of course, not; you recognize the glass will fall, hit the ground and shatter, spilling contents, requiring cleaning of broken shards that might injure, messy liquids that can stain. That is a very good analogy for our daily actions.

Our "yes/no" responses to every moment cause such reactions....sometimes there are broken shards of ourselves to pick up, attempt to repair, or recognize that they are best left broken and discarded. Other "yes/no" responses cause proverbial wounds and blood to spill and leave a stain or scar. We tidy up as best we can, of course, neaten it up, slap on a bandage and keep moving forward. Sometimes the wound heals in a practically invisible manner, other times there is a dramatic mark left behind to note the drama that occurred.

The "push me, pull you" part of life is what presents moments of discovery, wonder, beauty. Recently, I was involved in a work-related drama that had been brewing for a couple of weeks. My Higher Mind recognized this immediately and began to communicate warning signs via dreams and those "feelings" of intuition we all experience. I'm happy to say that I recognized all of the above and kept mental note while also continuing to live my life.

The situation came to an abrupt head with absolute boat loads of drama just dying to happen, to come crashing down and shatter and splash, cut, gouge and destroy. Years ago, I would have gotten caught up in the drama, I would have allowed myself to get sucked into the negative pool, all with sincere intent to "fix" the whole mess. I would have been affronted and determined to defend my reputation. Fortunately, with age comes wisdom and a calmer approach. These days, and with this situation in particular, the absolutely wonderful part was that I simply didn't engage beyond the necessary interaction to put a swift end to said drama. I was also given the gift of one friendly face in the whole bundle of personalities who embraced my own mindset of stepping back from the dramatic overtones and finding a rational solution to the situation.

Rather than falling into the typical, "Oh no, this is awful, the sky is falling, I must fix it!" mentality, and thus, driving myself into a frenzy of worrying and eventually making myself physically ill, I just recognized the drama for what it was. An attempt to be the top hand on the baseball bat - a determination to win at all costs, regardless of the fallout or the possible victims. There was definitely a negative result that I personally experienced, but it had already happened weeks ago and I had dealt with it, come to peace with and about it and had already moved on to newer, better, more positive endeavors. The other actors in this particular drama were still stuck in the old energy, still very invested in playing the drama up to the highest levels possible.

The good news is, I weathered the storm as though it were less than a single raindrop on a sunny day. I am still quite captured and captivated by the true simplicity of this whole thing. "Push me, pull you" can become a person's singular identity if they choose it to be so. A neverending saga of dramas, arguments, jockeying for power and position, always fighting to have the final word. OR, "push me, pull you" can become a different dance of energy where you choose to flow in a form of cooperation that actually turns out to be a more true example of success. Some might call it passive resistance, or if you want to be completely negative, call it passive aggressive behavior...that psychological darling of a catch-phrase.

I choose to see it, claim it, identify it as STRENGTH. Rather than engaging in a squabble full of needless drama, I chose to acknowledge the issues, state my opinions in a professional manner, stay cheerful and upbeat and refuse to be sucked into the morass of negativity. To be honest, the reactions were borderline comical, and I do not say that in a snide manner. I heard true perplexity in the voices of those I was speaking with as they grappled with someone who would not engage in their carefully crafted scenario. I could see it clearly for what it was, yet I chose to hold on to the wonderful, positive energy that has been flowing around me and saturating my Life Path in the last several months. Mark Twain, he of wry, understated humor, said it best, I think:

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."

This is not to say I was laughing at these people. It is to indicate that I chose to not be sucked into a needless tangle of negative energy when we were dealing with a moot point to begin with. In light of this fact, the "push me, pull you" dance really couldn't take place, but as we all know, there are those souls who will determinedly create something tangible where it doesn't exist, just for the sake of stewing in that negativity. I chose to flow with them, rather than push against or pull away from them. This is key, my friends. It is a sister to the analogy of when one door closes, another opens. Think about it. If that door is closed and locked and you don't have the key, you can rattle the door knob, push against it, kick the fool out of it and you'll never get it to open. Isn't it easier to just turn away, glance about you and see that, oh, look there...an open doorway is steps away!?

I am not suggesting abandoning a situation and leaving loose ends that you are responsible for - I am saying to give a difficult situation a fair amount of attention while maintaining a cheerful mien, a positive focus on all the good things surrounding you. Do this and you flow with the energy. No struggle is necessary and no harm comes to anyone. You flow in cooperation because you are maintaining focus on the lightness, the good, the positive, the purposeful. As a result, the drama and negativity will part around you in a smooth flow of cooperation, parting as water does over an obstacle and flowing onward down the river. The obstacle is left behind and the water goes rushing merrily onward. That is what I experienced this week and it was glorious!

Yes, the situation was frustrating and annoying. It was completely unnecessary, the way it was handled. There was real opportunity for the whole thing to have lasting and negative fallout on me, personally, in my small town, had I chosen to engage and go in with guns blazing. What defines us, in the end, is how we choose to react to a given set of circumstances. I chose laughter. I chose light. I chose to flow with energy rather than push against, pull at, kick doors or stir up dissent. In southern terms, we call it "picking your battles" and that is most likely also a euphemism that is widespread. Some things merit aggressive action; in my opinion, this was not one of those moments.

Perhaps I have strayed far and wide from my friend Beth's original blog post, and that is okay. That's the beauty of blogging - we cause sparks of inspiration to flare brightly from one another. In fact, when I think about it, it is another beautiful example of flowing with energy, grasping that spark of inspiration and moving it forward in perhaps a completely unexpected direction and application. You will read this article and have your own thoughts, reactions and opinions and the flow of energy will continue. That makes me smile!
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If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more, you can find me at Healing Morning blog