A Remarkable Life

I'm not sure what it is that makes a life remarkable. Remarkable as in unusual, extraordinary, worthy of notice.

A few years ago I attended the funeral of a good friend's mother. I heard her loving family and good friends describe her ordinary life. There was no drama evident in the telling, but rather the picture of someone supremely happy doing the everyday tasks that get us all through life. I felt envious that my friend's mother did not feel the need to strive for, or live a life beyond the one she had.

I found her ordinary life quite remarkable.

It is also the instances when life departs from the ordinary that are noteworthy.

So the life of someone from another culture is always remarkable, because it is different.

What is even more remarkable is what happens when the broad brushes used to paint a picture of what constitutes an average life are laid down, and a finer brush is taken up to fill in the details.

When we really listen carefully to the details of another's story, layers fall away exposing diverse qualities.

Before Christmas I listened to and then wrote the story of a remarkable life. I am both proud and humbled to contribute a profile article to the inaugral Diversity Writers website which is the excellent and very new website of one of Writers Rising's contributors-Sharon Egan. It has been published here.

My article describes the life of a wonderful lady who I call Viv. Viv's story reveals her passion to be herself no matter the cost.

Perhaps that is what constitutes a remarkable life; simply having enough courage to be YOU.

365 Lessons-Lesson 12: Don't Give Up, The Best Is Yet To Come

I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. Only 353 more days to go.....oh, Lord! This was what I thought as I sat down at my computer this morning. Fortunately, I have a bulletin board at my desk that has little pieces of paper, messages, letters, pictures, postcards and notes that encourage me to keep going.



This lesson from today is brought to you by a fortune cookie...that's right! According to my mother, my grandfather, who is no longer with us, use to also save the fortunes from his cookies and pin them up. It must be hereditary, because I do the same. He is was one of the most inspirational people I've ever known. He graduated from MIT, worked for RCA and helped with the development of the colored TV. After retirement, he traveled the world helping people in other countries develop in electronics. He was very positive and he had a very opened mind. He always believed in me and he often sent me articles from the Christian Science Monitor related to whatever I was doing and wherever I was. He donated to have a church built in his community and he also attended a multi-faith conference at Stanford University where he saw the Dalai Lama and other leaders of different religious organizations. I think he was ahead of his time.

Also on my bulletin board is a letter from my grandfather dated 12/06/96, he died three months or so after this letter was written. He wrote, "I was very pleased to learn in-depth of your travels and interests. You are a remarkable person and I am extremely proud of you. I like your ideas of writing a book. If possible, I would like to read it." I am sorry he won't get a chance, but his words seem to spur me forward. They shoot out at me, reminding me to keep going.

So, I made a bookmark of fortunes from cookies at various restaurants I have visited over the years. I know, it sounds a little wacky...but I like it. Some of the fortunes come from the Yogi Tea bags. I saved the ones I liked and taped them to a piece of handmade Korean paper. One of the fortunes on that paper reads, "Don't give up, the best is yet to come." Hence, our lesson for today.

I also have a card on my bulletin board from a friend. She gave it to me when I decided to quit the company where we both worked. It was my first job after college. It was sort of an "ideal" job...good pay, benefits, vacation time, 9-5...but I felt I was suffocating. I was ready for something more after less than a year working there. That was 1993, I believe. The card read:
"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it."-Goethe. I'm happy to say that that friend is now an avid reader of this blog and one of my biggest supporters today. Thank you...you know who you are ^_^!
I took a leap of faith. I quit my job and worked in a few restaurants locally, traveled to Mexico to teach English for a year, went on my own down to South America and hiked on the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, one of the seven wonders of the world.

(hiking on the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, Peru in my early 20s)

I went all over Asia, lived in Japan and even climbed Mt. Fuji.

(Climbing down from Mt. Fuji, Japan after the sunrise on the top)

I met a monk who became my husband, traveled to India and the Taj Mahal, opened two yoga schools in South Korea...I just kept going!

(The Taj Mahal, India)

(First yoga school, Seongnam, South Korea)

So when I feel like giving up, I remember these things. I remember that so many people believed in me. I remember that whenever I took a leap of faith against all odds, because it felt right, I was rewarded. I remember that all the obstacles, money and time it took to see my dreams become a reality were worth it. The more I started living like this the more it became a way of life. Even if there is still a faint little voice in the back of my head telling me that it would be easier to stop, I don't think I can. I've walked too far down this path and now I feel I want to share it. Here are some other quotes worth requoting:

Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never.-Winston Churchhill

I used to work at the International House of Pancakes. It was a dream and I made it happen-Paula Poundstone

Quit now, you'll never make it. If you disregard this advice, you'll be halfway there-David Zucker

Always listen to the experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it-Robert Heinlein

If you never try, then you'll never know just what you're worth-Coldplay(On the top of Mt. Fuji, Japan)

Peace friends......may you all be happy and peaceful and live the life of your dreams!

Adventure of a Lifetime Begins with a Human Touch

Greetings from Prague, Czech Republic! I am writing while attending the TEFL course that just started today...a rigorous schedule that starts at 10 in the morning until 6 at night...with a cross section from around the world...or so it seems...from California, Canada, and Colorado. This Motley crew of teachers, professionals from multiple sectors that all have their stories of how they came to choose to come here in January at the height of one of the worst storms that Europe has had in a very long time.

After spending a must needed vacation in Paris for two weeks I hope to share this special journey that evolved from an image that I had in my mind while I was teaching English in South Korea. This picture clearly shows the power we all have to create our lives each day of our precious journey. I wanted to share with you an incredible encounter I had while on my way to Prague.

I was in Gare du Nord (which simply means the North Terminal) in Paris. A homeless man approached me and looked into my eyes and took my gloved hand and put it to his cheek. He didn't ask me for a thing, but just to be touched. In the gulf of his pain that I could see in his eyes, I saw the cry of a man to be a man again. I was speechless and withdrew my hand and took off my glove and he took my hand and held it, just simply stood by me.

I thought about the courage it took him to approach me. It moved my heart and my eyes threatened to tear up. He then moved my hand to his cheek and then to his neck, which begged for the touch of a woman. The moment lacked words, but had the human moment without words of touching an untouchable in the view of society.

I thought about my potential reaction to recoil out of fear, but I was not afraid. I saw the deeper meaning, the hunger we all have to be touched out of love and not fear. I walked away and mouthed the words, 'I care'...perhaps that is what we all need to do more of.

Without regard for public appearance...the people watched and were horrified and it magnetized them at the same time. I have no regrets for touching this man...it was what he needed and that transcended our languages.

The Big Picture

Happy New Year everyone.

I have a post I would like to share, and hope you will forgive that I am going to directly link it to my blog -- the only reason I am doing this is because the pictures are important to the story .... BUT my computer is on the meltdown today and I tried uploading them again and it is not a-happening!!!

I'd be really pleased to share this story with you though - please visit and let me know your thoughts - simply click here to read about what the BIG PICTURE from Angkor Wat represents to me

Thanks & look forward to reading more from you guys

xx

365 Lessons

Hello fellow Writers Risers and Writers Rising Readers! I'm so happy to be back. While I was gone you all wrote such amazing things...I read most of them, but haven't had a chance to comment on all of them. I feel this blog has a force of it's own and I'm so happy to share that with you all here. Writers Rising is so appropriate for 2010, The Year of the Tiger! I am going out on a limb on my blog Lessons from the Monk I Married. I've decided to write a lesson I have learned for every day of the year. I wanted to share my resolutions, which I normally never make or keep, with you all here so that you can hold me to it. Do you keep resolutions or have any plans for 2010? I'd love to hear about them. I am grateful to share this space with all of you. If you are visiting this blog and would like to be a contributor, please leave your contact info in a comment and I will add you here. Writers Risers, if you know anyone who would be a great addition to our fabulous list of authors, let me know. Here's what I posted on my blog. My first lesson for January 1st 2010 is "Be Disciplined" and I'll share that with you here:

O.K. I might be biting off more than I can chew, but I am ready to try. I'm ready to be disciplined. My meditation teacher, SN Goenka, always says, "Continuity of practice is the secret of success." If it works for meditation, it will certainly work for other areas of my life. My husband also tells me that success comes when you continually work on whatever you want to succeed in. When times get rough, you keep going. You have to just keep at it.

January 2010 marks my first year anniversary writing my blog, Lessons from the Monk I Married. That's a big success for me. When I started out, no one knew this blog existed. Over the course of a year, I've gotten to know so many people in the blogosphere. Though we've never met, I feel some of the people I've met here I know personally, like family. Writing for one whole year on this blog was a course in discipline for me. Near the end of this year, I felt I didn't have any more to say, but I do.

I don't like to make New Year's Resolutions because I don't always stick to them. Lesson One for this new year is about discipline, so I intend to try and stick to my resolutions this year (emphasis on the word "try").

As many of you know, I've been writing a book entitled "Lessons from the Monk I Married". This has proved to be no easy feat, but I continue. My first resolution is to have it completed and published this year. My second resolution is to write on my blog 365 lessons I've learned. These lessons I've learned will be written on a daily basis and I will finish this project on January 1, 2011. Many of these have come from walking on this path of life with my husband, a former Korean Buddhist monk. He is not a writer, but he has inspired so many with his words. Some of these words even come from Facebook status updates. I'd love to write a book just of those, but I will stay on my task here. Don't be surprised if some of those updates show up in my lessons here. It's good to point out that these are lessons I have learned, everyone has their own set. I have been sharing some of these over the past year with a positive response from so many people. If what I write benefits people in a positive way, why wouldn't I want to continue. What benefits you benefits me. We are sharing the love. If what I write doesn't resonate with you, you don't have to read it. It's your choice, just as this is my choice.

My other resolutions include sticking to my daily meditation practice and keeping up a regular yoga practice. My husband is a yoga teacher and currently teaches in my house, so that's been easy so far. This year he hopes to open a yoga studio with his friend near our house in Seattle. I'm very excited about that.

It's a little scary putting all this out there into the world, but it's about time. Hope you all will follow me on another year journey. I look forward to your comments and sharing this journey with you.

So this is the project I will be working on this year, as well as completing my book manuscript. What are you working on? I'd love to hear about it. Much peace and happiness to you all in the new year!!

2010: May your New Year be creative and bright.

When One Is More Than Three

The pure energy of choice, the exercise

Of wisdom and will between the extreme

Of hatred and love, apathy or action, war

Or art, the painful year, a joyful moment,

Only mind dreaming our future into being:

All that is made by man, woman or child

Every toy, house, bridge, bullet or bomb

Was once an idea given birth in the mind.

It may look like we take one step forward

Three back, but a forward step is always

The greater distance in dream time, mind is

Forever dreaming forward into the future

from "Of One and Many Worlds" Poetic Matrix Press

A New Year, A New Life.....I'm Back!

I'm back in the saddle again....I'm ready to go! I feel the New Year around the corner and I'm ready to embrace 2010, the Year of the Tiger. For some reason, when I say that, the Rocky theme song, Eye of The Tiger, starts playing in the background of my mind. I think "Tiger" best defines how I feel this year will go. When I think of a Tiger, I think of strength, precision, focus, and beauty.

(Picture courtesy of Wikipedia)

I didn't feel like a tiger two weeks ago. I felt more like a mole or a bear in hibernation. I just wanted to bury myself in a hole in the ground and remain in it. It wasn't that I was depressed or sad or worried, it's just that I felt the need to let go of outside things and go inside. I needed to feel myself again. I needed to retreat.

I'm coming out of my cave now. On Dec. 9th I went to a 10-day silent meditation course in Onalaska, WA.


I had a room with hardly anything in it and I didn't speak for 10-days.





People may ask, "Well what did you do then?" I meditated...and that's it. No other activities except eating, sleeping, and bathing and responding to calls of nature. I do this at least once a year and I have a daily practice. I find it very beneficial. It's easy for me to get lost in the drama of life otherwise...to be tossed and turned by what is going on around me. A 10-day Vipassana course is not easy, it's rigorous. Many people have an idea that going to meditate for 10 days is like going to the spa....ummm...it couldn't be farther from that idea. It's serious work. It's surgery. The benefits I get from practicing meditation outweigh the benefits I've gotten from anything else in life, so I keep practicing. It's been almost 14 years. I feel clarity, peace of mind on a very deep level, balance, and understanding of the impermanent, changing nature of things.

Before I started meditation, I felt a lot of anger, worry, and self doubt. I don't feel these as much anymore and if they come to pay a visit, they don't stay long. The most amazing thing that has happened since I started meditating is that I find myself exactly where I need to be. There's no second guessing. Things fall into place very easily. I get lined up with the right people, places and things. I feel a connection to those I meet and feel the importance of those who come into my life, whether they be a reader of this blog, an author or fellow blogger on another blog, a yoga student, an ESL student, a neighbor, the postman, a stranger, whomever it may be, I feel the importance of why they are in my life. I'm not saying that things don't go wrong anymore, they do, but I don't seem to have a strong reaction like I did before. I'm able to observe the situation a bit more from a distance. I don't feel so attached.

Another thing I've felt like doing since I started meditating is share with others the things that I have learned or the peace and happiness I feel. There's a lot of negativity in the world these days. If I am not aware, I can follow people right into the hornet's nest of negativity. Realizing that I can't please everyone is a big lesson for me. Some people will not be happy with what I say or do, but if I feel o.k. with it, that's all that's important. My purpose in life, I believe, is to share, open up and extend myself to others. Also, there are times when I need to retreat, gain energy and take care of myself.


When I came back from meditation, I wasn't quite ready to come out of my shell, but Christmas was right around the corner and my family had big plans. We had planned to meet at my father's lake house in Washington. I went from the nothingness of total silence right into the craze of Christmas shopping at Northgate Shopping Center near my house in Seattle. Christmas shopping at peak season, if anything, will shake you from your shell. I was still moving slowly through the hordes of people and had to sit down often.

Christmas with my family was nice. It was nice to see everyone and spend time together. I'm not sure I really had time to get into the "Christmas Spirit". I was kind of thrown into it. When I was young, I celebrated Christmas because my family did. I don't think much has changed. The Christmas I see in America seems to be about spending time with family, buying a Christmas tree, buying presents, decorating the tree, making Christmas cookies, watching Christmas specials, listening to Christmas music, etc. Christmas is also about the birth of Christ, but that gets lost sometimes, I feel. I am not a member of any religion and I am member of ALL religions. Maybe it's good to celebrate everything. ..to celebrate life! I was happy to finally be celebrating at this peaceful lake setting with family.

I think I was more excited about the new year.... I already feel things are lining up. While I was meditating, my husband and his friend decided to start a yoga business together and they already found a building in Seattle that they are interested in. I feel that this will happen. The most amazing part of the "possible" yoga school is the atrium.


It has an indoor Eichler-style atrium. I've never seen an older building in Seattle with this feature. It's perfect for a yoga school. I feel like my husband and are I both working towards our goals and dreams simultaneously and they both support the same goal of sharing peace, happiness and joy with others. The creation of his yoga school will be a collaborative effort of friends who are painters, gardeners, designers, construction workers. I think it will be so interesting to see this process of so many people coming together to leave a part of themselves for others to enjoy. It's like one big art project. Stay tuned for more information as this project progresses. Happy New Year everyone!!